I lost my lovely wife three months ago, I understand fully how you feel, I have a lovely family but when I shut the door behind me I am on my own and loneliness sometimes is unbearable. We were married nearly 52 years. There is nothing wrong with talking I do it all the time and it gives me comfort, I am convinced my wife is with me every day, people tell me you will move on they don’t know what they’re talking about we will never move on we might move forward one step at a time, apart from having a strong family who are firmly by my side that is what I intend to do ,each day is different, I hope we both can take those steps forward no matter how difficult they are.
Tonight it will be 10 weeks since my husband N passed away unexpectedly in his sleep. So far I have had one day in which I did not cry. I talk to N every day, telling him what I have been doing and how I am feeling. I tell him that I love him at least twice a day and how much I miss him and wish he was still here Typing this, I have tears streaming down my face , I feel so broken and lost. I just need him to put his arms around me and give me a big hug 🫂.
Sleep seems to be allusive again, I have lost count of the nights where I am still awake and hear my upstairs neighbour get up for work at 5am.
Hello Valerie I have just read your lovely letter and I know how you feel. I talk to Geoff all the time but time isnt helping yet. Everything seems harder to live with and I still feel lost and lonely. Please take care of yourself and my thoughts are with you. Love from Carol.
I am sorry for your loss, the pain is overwhelming. Your response is normal and it is very early days. You will adapt.
Years down the line I still talk to my husband though I get on with life. I miss him so terribly, he was so strong, so much stronger than me.
The love we have, we who are left behind, is forever.
Hello Rachel and all of the people on this topic. I was just sitting here alone and crying and this message arrived
The lonely feeling is getting worse and the pain of not sitting here with Geoff is worse than ever. I just don’t know what to do and I am just feeling desperate to see him. I can still imagine him sitting here with me but there is just a gap where he should be. He would not want me to feel so dreadfully awful and it would make him feel responsible which he is obviously not. I just love him and can’t move on without him. I am more unhappy more and more each day. I really don’t want to go on without him. He was and still is my reason to go on. Sorry to go on like this because you must feel the same. I just don’t know how to deal with loneliness. I can’t go out because I am confined to a hospital bed at home due an an accident I had before Geoff passed away. He was, and still is, my rock and it is hard for me to be positive.
Best wishes to you all
Hello everyone. Just sitting here and still crying for Geoff my darling husband. Just wanted to say thanks to all of you who supported me when I joined this group. I really appreciated your replies. I still feel so much pain still and cannot move on. It is now three months since I lost him and the grief gets worse but I do get some comfort when I come this site and read about others like me. I still can’t see light at the end of the tunnel. Thank you all again and my love to you. Carol
My heart goes out to you Carol.
When I look back on how I felt only 3 months after losing Ian I realise what a short time it really was.
It’s no time at all really, everything will be really raw for you and so recent. It takes time to even start to come to terms with our loss. You have to really go easy on yourself. If there are days when you don’t feel like doing anything, then take it easy. Be good to yourself.
It’s 17 months for me now, and I still have days when I struggle to get up and get going, but it does get slightly easier as we come to terms with our massive loss.
Grief takes It’s toll on us and tires us out.
There is light at the end of that tunnel Carol, it will come gradually, a tiny chink of light at a time, but there are days ahead when you will feel your grief lighten and not weigh so heavy on you.
I’m thinking of you and I do truly understand how you feel.
Love & hugs
Hello Carol I have only recently joined this site as my husband died 4 months ago. I still cry every day and still find it hard to believe that my husband is not here. We were together for 50 years. The grief I feel has affected me in so many ways not sleeping or eating, memory loss at times and confusion. I don’t think I will ever get over this, I am totally devastated. He was and still is everything to me. Unfortunately I am not a number one priority in any ones life now. It really hurts. Although I do have grown up children they have their own lives/families but they try to make sure I am alright or as much as I can be. I hope you and the rest of us on here can find some comfort in posting on here. Love and hugs to everyone.x
Thank you so much for your lovely words. I do appreciate your reply. I am still unable to believe he has gone. I think it is worse at present because it was Geoff,s birthday yesterday and instead of us celebrating I was here alone with my thoughts of him. I just can’t believe that life will ever be happy again and I am so very sad. This group with understanding people like you does help and I don’t feel so alone. Thanks again. Best Wishes. Carol
Oh no, if it would have been Geoff’s birthday yesterday, no wonder you feel like you do Carol.
All the “firsts” of everything are bad enough, but his birthday will have made you so sad.
It is hard to believe they have gone. I often look at Ian’s photo and say “I wish you would come in through the front door again” …It’s heartbreaking isn’t it…
Dear Janey yes I do think it being his birthday made it worse again. I just sat here thinking where we would be going to celebrate as we used to. Instead I just sat next to his chair and thought of past celebrations and it hurts so much. Thank you for listening to me. Best Wishes from Carol
Dear Loobyloo2. Thank you for your lovely message. I appreciate your words so much. I know life will never be the same again and my loneliness does not go away but I feel I still have go living because he would want me to. I just find it lonely and difficult being on my own after 52 years with him. I have found that people on this site really help and I appreciate the help I receive from members like you give. Take care. Carol