I’m new here
I’ve lost a lot in my 40 years of being here
My first funeral and first death was our first baby Amber Rose. Amber was a much loved much wanted baby. Amber was born 2 wks early she was healthy putting on weight. When she turned 4 wks old Amber sadly contracted septicaemia meningitis and died 6 days later in the paediatric ICU. We had to switch her machines off and sit and watch her die.
It was horrendous watching our baby stop breathing.
6 years later my Dad got bowel cancer and died 18 months later. I have never seen anyone deteriorate from being a healthy stroppy man to a weak quiet souless man who weighed nothing.
A year later my Mum got very very sick. After months in ICU they found loads of tumours in my Mother’s tummy. My Mum was transported to a hospice near me where she died two wks later.
My Mum was my best best friend.
My Father in law was diagnosed with lung cancer at the same time and died a day after they moved my Mum to the hospice.
I’m still struggling to feel normal.
I have 3 kids under the age of 9. I used to be a calm soft Mum I’m now full of rage I shout a lot. I hate myself for it. My family is so broken.
It’s been 3 years and my families still broken.