It’s 4 months since I lost my beloved brother and still I cry every day. What I’m finding very hard is the lack of support. It’s me who’s phoned his wife every week and visited but she never phones me. Yes, I’m heartbroken for her but he was my brother a lot longer than he was her husband. Likewise, my family don’t ask me now how I’m feeling. Just because I put a brave face on they think I’m over it. I feel so alone at times and feel like I will never be happy again.
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Dear @Tabia
Apologies for the delay in replying. I am sorry to hear of the loss of your brother. 4 months is still very raw and sometimes the reality of the loss as time goes by hits home and perhaps now your brothers’s wife is struggling to cope. It may be that phoning you brings everything back and she does not know what to say to you and the same could be said of your family.
Grief has a range of emotions and every one reacts differently at different times. Give the family and your brother’s wife time. I am sorry your feel alone. Do you have friends that can support you and have you had a chat with your GP as to how you are feeling?
There is information and support available which will be of help to you
here.
Please continue to reach out here any time. Take care.
Pepsi
Hello Tabia,
I am so sorry you lost your brother; I know what that feels like. I lost one of mine in January 2017. He was someone I had grown up with, played with when we were kids. He was older than me and spoilt me rotten growing up. However, I lost my husband that same year; he was the same age as my brother with just 5 days between them. Please don’t be hard on your sister in law because honestly, losing a spouse/partner is a totally different ball game. Your sister in law needs your support Tabia, just as you need hers but more so and I don’t mean to insult your own loss by saying that because of course, your loss is very real to you.
After my husband died, I never rang anyone; it was always others who rang me. I was grateful beyond words for the support and I think your sister in law will be grateful for your support too. Don’t expect too much from her, although the time will come when she will love to chat about your brother and happier days and perhaps will even enjoy your stories of when you were growing up together. After my husband had gone I had a longing to know more of him. I wanted to know him inside out. I found some diaries written when he was 12 and 13 and they gave me an insight into this boy who became a man who became my husband. I read these diaries like a novel; every word on every page.
I’m going to post something which was posted on another thread. It may give you an inkling into how your brother’s wife if feeling.
Sending hugs. x
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Hi , I lost my twin sister in December 2020 it’s taken me a year to say that I need help I’ve been having counselling and on antidepressants and sleeping tablets which all have helped , sometimes it’s nice to talk to someone we don’t know and be able to open up how we feeling . Maria
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Dear Tabia I am so truly sorry for your loss and the void left in your life. I can see from your other post that your brother’s death was so sudden and that you also lost your other brother years ago. As you say, we are left wondering why life is so very cruel at times. For all of us, every loss is unique and different bringing its own immense pain and life altering changes. All I can offer are my hopes for you that you and your sister in law find a way to support each other and as time passes that you feel a little less alone and happier. Take care.
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Hi Pepsi, thank you so much for your kind reply… It is so appreciated x
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Hello Kate. Thank you for your thoughtfulness, and the post. I’m so sorry for your losses, I can imagine what you went through. At least everyone on here knows what we’re going through. It’s tough for us all.
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I’m so sorry you lost your twin sister Maria. You must have been so close, as I was with my brother. We were like two peas in a pod. Sending hugs x
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Thank you Ellen. I will always support my sister in law to the best of my ability. I hope in the months to come I can begin to move forward. For now I just want him back.
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I know. Its heartbreaking. X