Still struggling 6 months on

Hello,
Like many this is my first time on any thing like this. I lost my husband in January this year. After 47 years together he was my best friend, life partner, my everything. Roy my husband was diagnosed with a brain tumour just over 3 years ago and fought what was literally a battle right to the end. I now just miss him, I never thought I would feel this empty, alone and to be quite honest lonely. I sometimes feel I’m going backwards and wondered does it ever get better?
Love to you all
Sandie

Hello Sandie
I am so sorry that you have lost your husband but glad that you have found your way to this site because everyone here understands and tries to support each other.
I know six months must seem like forever but it is not really very long at all and your feelings are as normal as anything is on this new journey of ours. My partner died two years ago and I have progressed to where I am now in a series of fits and starts…even now I have bad days and times when I feel I am going backwards but somehow I have progressed through the awful rawness into a calmer and more accepting existence. Loneliness is difficult to cope with but it is possible to find joy in our aloneness and I know that although my other half is no longer beside me physically he resides within my heart even more strongly than before. Life is not what I had hoped it would be but it is still worth the living. Don’t give up and do keep posting…take care x

Hi Amelie’s gran, thank you for taking the time to reply it means a lot to me, I’m not very good at understanding the internet post on my wall goes over my head so really sorry for any mistakes. i’m Sorry to hear about your loss, your so right it is a journey, so very hard for everyone, thank-you for sharing it bless you, you obviously had a lovely relationship special very close to you that is so beautiful, I feel Roy’s presence and it does keep me going, I thank you for your kindness and understanding take care and I hope to read another post.

Hello to you both, it is always nice to hear other people say they feel the presence of their loved one because I still do and sometimes he seems to nag me into what is right and others I feel he helps me either work things out or know how to do jobs. Yes I am alone ( I do have a cat) but I don’t say I am lonely because I enjoy the solitude, We also had been together over 45 years and neither of us was good at making friends, we didn’t need them. But I am empty and lonely without him which doesn’t go away nor do I think it ever will, I feel that’s my life now. I am relatively happy and I don’t think there’s much I need, so yes life is worth it. Keeping busy is my mine thing and there is lots of things one can do. Bless you both, S

Hello Susie, It is lovely to hear from you, I do believe Roy is around I used to get the same when my mother passed she wore a certain perfume and I could smell it and I knew she was about, I believe that your body has gone but the spirit lives on it is quite reassuring even though I feel empty I miss the chats and knowing he won’t walk through the door again it’s too much for anyone. glad to hear you have a cat their good company I have a dog he keeps me busy.Glad to hear you can keep busy it’s good, I had an accident three months after he died fractured my spine so I’ve been out of action for a while but I’ll get there, take care of yourself Susie and thank-you for replying God Bless You keep going your hubby will look after you X

Sandie, I am so sorry about your spine, things take longer when we are grieving. Yes I to believe that the soul/spirit lives on and they are around when we need them. I had a cataract removed yesterday so finding typing difficult so will leave this for now. You take care and I hope you are back up and moving well.
Blesss you S

Thank-you Susie for your kind words, you take care of yourself too,I’m going to my daughters for a few days so I won’t be posting no internet, take it easy and I will post soon bless you lovely lady.X

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