Still struggling 8 years on

I feel a bit silly joining this site, I’ve never been one for reaching out but I’m now eight years on from losing my husband and don’t seem to feel any better, everyone thinks I’ve moved on and I’m coping but I’m just masking my feelings and feel dreadful


Dear @Bolt

Please do not feel silly for joining this site. We are all here sadly for the same reason, for the loss of a loved one. We are here to support you and it is good that you are able to reach out.

I am sorry to hear of the loss of your husband and that you are struggling. There is no timetable or timeline for grief. It is completely normal to feel profoundly sad for a long time and sometimes many years, after a person you love has died. Don’t put pressure on yourself to feel better or move on because other people think you should have.

Sue Ryder has the following resources which may be of help to you.

Have you seen the blog by Sue Ryder Losing a Partner , it may be of help to you along with the following resources. The Grief Coach may especially be of help to you.

  • The self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief Grief Guide
  • Grief Coach text service, which sends you personalised text support via SMS. This service is also useful for family and friends
  • Information on the Stages of Grief
  • Bereavement Information pages which can walk you through what you are going through
    There is an organisation called AtALoss which helps bereaved people find support and well-being. It may well be worth you taking a look at the website for support. You can also enter your location on the website to see if there are any support groups in your area.

It may be worth chatting to your doctor if you have not done so already to let them know how you are feeling and to see what support can be offered to you. Sometimes it helps just to talk. Have you considered one to one Counselling? In the search bar you too can connect with members who have experienced what you are going through.

We the Community are here for you, you are not alone, we understand the pain of losing a loved one. Keep talking to us here. Take care of yourself.

Peppers xx

1 Like

Thats a long time. Life isnt easy is it ? So sorry for your loss. People are really understanding here … you can join in on conversations whenever you please x


It’s good that you have reached out this site has been a Godsend for me as every person on here has been through the same so we all understand. Even if you don’t feel like you want to share too much about how you feel just reading other people’s posts and replies can be really therapeutic if only to help you understand that you are not alone x


Hi , thanks for your replies and understanding, I just seem lacking motivation at the moment, the last eight years I have just thrown myself into everything, I keep myself busy from dawn to dusk, I was widowed at 49 and have just retired early to look after a 95 year old mum who has been my rock over the last few years, maybe I’m just a bit overwhelmed/ exhausted at the moment, I’m normally quite a strong person so hopefully I’ll bounce back thanks again