Still struggling after 2 years

Hi don’t need a reply or anything, felt I needed to write something to help how I feel. It’s a little over 2 years since my dad died from cancer, he had a terrible end unfortunately and I still think about it daily. My life just isn’t getting any better.I threw myself into work which kept me occupied but still feel hollow. I’ve got loads of his stuff stored in a shipping container and I have to sort it out this week, I’ve put it off for weeks looking for any excuse. The thing I’m dreading most is moving the radiation mask, it’s been giving me nightmares. I know I could get someone else to move it but feel I have to face it but I am afraid it’ll break me down. I don’t want to chuck it either. Life is shit….


Dear Stuart

I know you didn’t want a reply but I just wanted to say we the Community are all here for you for support and to listen to at any time.

Please keep reaching out here and sharing how you feel, it does help.

Take care of yourself.



Hi Stuart
I just felt that I wanted to reply. I hope that sorting your dad’s stuff out has been easier than you anticipated.

I lost my mum on Easter Sunday last year, April 4th to cancer and fetched quite a bit of her stuff back to my small one bedroom flat, as I couldn’t bear to be be parted with it at the time. I’m now getting to a place where I feel I could sort through it. So I empathise with you.

Mum and I were really close and we can feel like we’re doing okay and then things can hit us out of nowhere. On Sunday I returned from a 10 day holiday with some friends to their house in North Cumbria. The scenery was very reminiscent of mum and I’s last holiday away between the Yorkshire Dale’s and Cumbria and I felt very tearful at times.

Take care and be kind to yourself.