Strange day

Had a very strange day felt emotional and anxious all day. Went to my sister’s and had a good chat with her and my brother in law and decided I need to speak to the doctor and maybe get some counselling. From there I was going to meet some friends I used to work with for lunch and my anxiety was worse than ever . As usual once I got there I felt better and had a good catch up with them. Came home and it’s so hard watching the news and mark not being here to discuss the awful things happening in Ukraine with. Mark always said Putin would cause a war. I keep putting off ringing the doctors because I have another not so bad day but I can’t put it off any longer so going to ring tomorrow.
Now just feel tearful but don’t want the tears to come just fighting them.
I want the old me back who wasn’t anxious, had confidence and had my mark to share everything with.
Sorry for the long post just feeling really low tonight xx

4 Likes

Sorry for the loss. My loss is different but I am in extreme pain. Lost my mother 3 weeks ago, she was only 58 so it was sudden and unexpected. I have always had anxiety and on medication since last two years. So you can imagine what this is doing to me.
My grief therapist suggested this book -“Anxiety - the missing stage of grief” by Claire Bidwell Smith. And it helps you cope with the grief and anxiety both. I would suggest reading it or listening it on Audible.
We have different losses but the pain is deep and we are struggling. Talking helps. Please keep opening up here .
Hugs

2 Likes

Hi Barbara 61 I’m sorry you lost mark, I lost my husband with cancer in august 21 and I am still feeling tearful I think it’s quite normal after all we’ve lost everything, I know I will never be the same I’ve become anxious , jumpy and feel safe at home rather than outside but again surely this is acceptable considering what has happened to us, it’s not long really when you’ve spent a lifetime together, the problem is other people don’t feel comfortable with our grief so don’t think it’s you, it’s so easy for them to try to fix it but in reality we’re never going to be fixed, it’s healthy to allow your emotions out rather than bottle it up so I say be kind to yourself you’re grieving the worst thing has ever happened to us and our hearts are broken, take care of yourself and thinking of everyone here on our sad fateful journey xx

Thank you. My daughter has suffered from anxiety since she was a teenager she’s now 30 so know a bit about it but I had no idea how common it is to suffer from it with grief until I joined this group and read other peoples stories. I will look at that book xx

1 Like

It’s certainly a long painful journey we are all on isn’t it xx

2 Likes

I’m feeling that same as all of you, some days I feel a little better but then some days terrible and feel like I’m back at the beginning again.
A few of my friends are trying to persuade me to see the doctor but as I’m new to the area I only registered with a doctor in October and have not met her yet. I have definitely lost my confidence and feel anxious about everything.
I’m so glad I found this forum because it helps to know that you all understand.
I find that I just want to hide away and not see anyone, just can face reality…
It’s such a difficult path we are all on.
Love to all
Muldool

1 Like

It’s so hard to make that decision to go to the doctor and admit that we need help. I never expected to feel like this. I feel like a different person. It is reassuring to know that I am not alone feeling like this but I so wish weren’t all going through it
Xx

1 Like

Woke up this morning still feeling really low. Doesn’t help that got nothing planned to do and the weather is damp and cold. Had my good cry which has been threatening the last couple of days pulled myself together and did some housework. Phoned the doctors and got an appointment next Thursday, I asked for a face to face appointment but it has to be phone first then he might get me in.
Thoughts with you all who are having the same kind of day xx

1 Like

Feel like I’ve gone up one step and come down three.
I feel so lonely and crying more than ever. It’s 10 weeks since I lost my husband. I know it’s early days, but I seem to have been on my own a lot recently. I can’t seem to look forward. I have a wonderful and loving family, and try to keep going for them. They are grieving too. I am starting counselling this week, so will see how that goes.
Thinking of you all going through such tough times.
X

Thank you. It is so hard when you find yourself on your own a lot. It’s much better to be with people but we always have to come home to be on our own again.
Good luck with the counselling hope you find it helpful xx

Thank you
X

Hi losing a partner is something you don’t think will happen to you at least 1st’ because as thet say its 50/50 chance’ but when i lost my Liz in November at 53 i’m in absolute limbo’even though we didn’t t go out much due to her ailments ‘i knew she was there to tell me off for men things like toilets seats being up haha and cupboard draws i would leave open’ shed kill me now as i do make a point of doing these things these days ‘it only took me 35 year’s to learn Liz’ i hope you feel better soon ‘i have had counselling through work and its not for me id rather sit and talk with someone who knew her’ so for now you take care of yourself its what he’d want for you x

1 Like

I have to agree about strange days I’m having one today didn’t get much sleep last night I don’t even know why ,but I started looking at photo albums and felt happy ,sad and every other emotion you can think of.I have to say that it brings it home to you that you have lost the love of your life when I see how young we both were. We would have been to gether for 45 years this year 43 of them married and the memories of how happy we were.
Don’t know if it’s a good thing or not to look at photo’s of your life together.I will probably leave it for for another day when feeling stronger.
I have to say I find early evenings and nights the longest.
I’ll stop now I’m rambling.
John

1 Like

I was looking through photo albums trying to remember the good times. I too was happy and sad and crying all at the same time. I see how young we looked and want to be back there holding each other and smiling for the camera. We seem to have done an awful lot. Some things I had forgotten It reminded me how much I miss him and long gone hold him in my arms. It was so unexpected and so quick his passing. I thought we would grow old together. It never entered my thoughts that he might die. It is all such a shock and almost a year on I find it difficult to accept that he has gone. I miss him so much it hurts x

2 Likes