@Deb5 yes I’m struggling at the moment. The arrival of spring was a time of year we enjoyed together and started doing our walks together. I miss him so much I fear I’m slipping into another depression. The same happened last year . It’s awful isn’t it xxx
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Yeh im not sure if spring coming makes it worse or easier do you ? It seems to remind you more that they are not here 
its so hard is this to just survive it without having difficult family … i would be very cool with your son , dont let him hurt you again ! What is it they say - forgive but don’t forget … But i do hope you get to see the baby !! I think you will 
xx
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@Deb5 yes I do think I’ll get to see the baby but I will need to protect myself emotionally from my son . That’s not a good feeling. I’m still not back on track with his wife and I didn’t fall out or anything? I’ve no idea why she’s not speaking to me - she has a glorious child I don’t understand why she’s still annoyed with me . I went to be close to all of them - I will forgive them and I will try my best to forget. I won’t forge the hurt they’ve caused at a time when I’m hurting so badly from the loss of Baz though . It’s very complicated. I feel like they owe it to him to make sure I’m ok because that’s what he’d have wanted . Me to be ok xxx
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People react in different ways. Maybe they are not coping and dont want to upset you. I am sure they are thinking of you. Sometimes one person has to ask for help. Maybe they dont know how much you are hurting.
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@Avvy sometimes when you ask directly for help if it is not forthcoming then it makes you wary to ask again. It’s wrong to make an assumption that people will want to be here for us during our period of loss - I’ve learned the hard way that , largely I can only rely on myself.
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I have seen many couples, 50s 60s, 70s and beyond getting together to enjoy the rest of their lives with a companion. My friend, 80, is recently engaged. He is 80 and both are fine professionals and so happy to have someone. So for those willing, it is out there.
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Oh I so understand. My brain physically hurts, I go from planning my wonderful life to sitting in a heap crying.
I can manage I keep telling myself, I am very able.
I am wearing a mask in public, my friends think Im fine infact its like nothings happend , but it has.
My darling husband of 21 year died in September. I dont want to be without him, its ok I dont want to be where his is either.
We will be ok whatever ok is.
Little steps set goals for the day dont worry if you don’t achieve them , try again the next day. sending you hugs
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Not all children are the same. I have 2 children and they are my life savers, my best friends and will do anything to help me the other children may have their own worries.
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Mmm … thats good for you then … mine arent really coping with loss of their dad i dont think? they dont wanna talk about him - its as of they are shutting it out which i think is very foolish because it will catch up with yhem one day … i dunno how old your kids are but mine left home a long time ago
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