Thought that I was starting to cope a little better, well still crying every day and in such a lot of deep psychological pain after nearly 6 months. But having been to the doctor about stress/anxiety she’s not listened and has decided I’m diabetic and need to check my blood pressure daily as I might have a problem. I really don’t know what to eat or do now as feel sick all of the time, everything seems so pointless but I know I mustn’t give up because of my family. Why is it doctors only want to find physical problems, can’t they see that when you’re grieving you many symptoms can appear as a result of the stress and anxiety? I now feel so much worse after going to the doctor and have more phantom pains etc than I did before. Terrified of eating or doing anything in case something happens. The one person who would be able to help isn’t here anymore, but of course I wouldn’t be having all of these problems if he was. Oh well another wet Saturday, hopefully I can try and feel better later.
You poor thing. I haven’t felt well since the loss of my poor husband. Anxiety every morning makes me feel heavy. I too cry every day. Constantly tired. Not really sleeping. Not eating properly. Ate a whole packet of biscuits yesterday, toast and bananas. Hardly a balanced diet which just makes me feel worse. On top of that you are right another wet Saturday. At least I can have a glass of wine this evening. My carer opened the bottle for me this morning. Intend to eat better today. It will still be a ready meal but should have some protein. I too cry every day. Sometimes more than others. Life just stretches ahead. Some of us who are alone are thinking of setting up a thread over Christmas so we are sure of having someone to talk to at least. Hope some of your symptoms do get better soon. Xx. Sandra
Thank you Sandra. I think I should really try and eat something so that I can let the cats out of the kitchen! I know I should try and stop worrying about things, but it’s my nature as I’m more a “glass half empty” sort of person. I have things I can do indoors but people round here disappear when the weather changes plus don’t really seem to know what to say to me anymore. At least my lovely daughter is visiting tomorrow so that will help. Enjoy your wine later but I think I’ll give alcohol a miss until this doctor stops having a go at me! Gail xx
@Guineapig65
They must check everything because there may be an underlying issue that is enhancing your feelings.
29 years ago when my son was born, I had very severe depression and got to the stage I couldn’t go out, I felt cold all the time and felt suicidal. When I couldn’t leave the house to take my kids to school and was crying uncontrollably, my then husband rang the health visitor. She took me to the doctors who obviously, new baby, diagnosed me with post nasal depression. As I got up to leave, I asked about the pins and needles I had everywhere. Just in that one comment, she said she’d do bloods.
Turns out I had an underactive thyroid, it’s was so bad it was causing all my issues, I had many,.
Once on the right meds, I am fine.
Let them do what they need to do, when they’ve ruled out everything, then they can help you as it could be grief but it could also be a combination of things caused by the emotional stress.
You are not alone. I feel this despair every morning. Another day to try and get through. It’s nine weeks today since my husband died. I try really hard to keep going but wonder if there’s any point now.I do have grown up children and they look after me, but of course they can’t be with me all the time. I’ve started to have panic attacks again. I’m also agoraphobic so don’t go out unless someone is with me. My husband always looked after me in this regard. Thae loneliness is overpowering. I hope you manage to get through this dull day ok. Empathy.
If you are a person that worries you can do nothing about it. This will be the first glass of wine I have had in a week. Just don’t fancy it but probably good to stay off until doctor has ruled things out. My breakfast is usually the healthiest meal if my day. Always bran flakes and skimmed milk and a cup of black coffee. My one coffee of the day. Downhill from here. Give your cats a stroke from me. I love cats. Xx
It is just about the same time for me. I slept last night and didn’t wake until 5. Unusual at the moment as it is normally 3 but I think I was exhausted. The anxiety and loss just hits every morning. Another day to survive. Should have 2 brief visitors today. My friend is bringing me some skimmed milk. Supermarket couldn’t supply in my online delivery. Weird thing to run out of. Tried to substitute with soya. Neighbour coming to pick up the last of my husbands shoes for the charity shop. Just his suits now. This neighbour is organising a girls get together at my house as I am not very mobile for the ladies of the close. 1 married, 2 widows and a divorced. The Prosecco is in the fridge. I have said I will organise the stripper. (Joke obviously). Looking forward to it. Weekends are the worst. Don’t know why as I am retired.
@Pudding
Glad you had a better night Sandra. Mine was as bad as ever, What a dreadful wet morning and I have to go out. Still, at least I will see people to talk to. It’s the loneliness because of living alone that’s making me worse. We were always chatting.
Enjoy your wine and it’s good that you will be having your ladies night, something to look forward to.
I hope you have a better day. Xx
Sun has just come out here but it is not expected to last. Just watching my recording of touring cars also something I used to do with Norman. Hope you don’t get too wet or blown away
I too had severe post natal depression after the birth of my son 33 years ago which escalated as the years went by, this was mainly because despite the projectile vomiting and then the behaviour which was eventually diagnosed as autism and adhd I was always told I was fine! Unfortunately the doctors I had then were unsympathetic and I my weight escalated after his birth from under 9 stone to 22 stone!! Not so bad now but still very distrustful of doctors and the NHS especially since the treatment of my husband. I will have all the checks and adhere to diet and exercise because I don’t want my kids to have to deal with me as a problem but when you’re on your own things seem to get out of control sometimes. At least the man next door has stopped drilling. Thanks for talking, these little conversations really help. xx
Maybe just eat healthily as much as you can until the dr confirms your diabetes ? And when you go back to drs ask her directly to get you some bereavment counselling
And this weather is shocking ! So sick of the rain ! Doesnt help your mood does it ? xx
It’s so dark here I think I am going to have to put the lights on and it’s cold. This weather really doesn’t help. If we weren’t miserable enough
Thanks, I’ve just spent about 2 hours watching a recording of bits of musicals from the BBC, it cheered me up a bit until I started to try to sing I just ended up crying (not because I sounded so awful it just reminded me so much of how Keef loved to hear me sing). I am eating fairly okay now and not drinking. At the beginning of this journey thing I probably spent about 2 months eating and drinking al of the wrong things, plus not moving. At least now I exercise everyday and have cut out drinking for a while.
@Pudding
Dark here too and it’s only 13 degrees. I’ve put a blanket over my legs.
What a miserable day. I’ve been doing some online games to try and get my brain back into action.
Time for tea, have chicken and salad - planned it when it was warmer.
I might open a bottle of wine, have you had your glass?
xx
I have a Charlie bigham meatballs al forno. At least it’s hot. I will have my wine while it is cooking. I think I am going to have to put a blanket over me. At least the oven will warm the house up. I normally have a couple of windows on half latch to keep the place aired but they are all shut at the moment. The one advantage of a ready meal is you know how many calories there are.
@Pudding
Enjoy your meat balls and wine. If it gets any colder, I shall have to put the heating on for a bit.
xx
I am determined not to. My brother and sister in law came back from France a couple of weeks ago and did put the heating on. Generally my little bungalow stays quite warm. The sun hits the front in the morning and the conservatory at the back all afternoon when we have sun. Try to keep warm xx
It’s still only August so I remember how Keef would say that it’s not time to put the heating on yet! Oh joy it’s really pouring outside now. I have two cats and I think the tubby one thinks it getting a bit cooler so keeps trying to sit on me, at least I know if I start getting cold I can just let her do that this evening!
I used to live having a cat sit in me and stroke. The first two we had used to sleep on our feet under the duvet. Before central heating.
Yep gin and tonic for me in a bit xx