Struggling after my dad passed

Where to start…
I lost my mum at 16 due to cancer and mine and my dads relationship wasn’t the greatest back then but since she passed we got closer.
He got ill around 2017 so I moved back home and started trying to be there for him, he had copd and declined over the years, I became more than his daughter, I was his career, the provider for the house I stopped my life to make his easier and I don’t regret it I would do it all over again, but since he passed last April, although I stupidly thought that I was prepared I could cope, I’m not I’m on the waiting list for some counselling, and I’ve been put on some antidepressants and well there not doing anything, I still drag myself to work but have lost all my drive.
Feels like I’m here but not really here, spend any free time in bed or on the sofa, don’t talk much to anyone.
It’s like I’m watching myself fade away and I don’t know how to stop.

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Dear @Sparky

Welcome to the Community. I am sorry for your loss and that you are not coping.

I am pleased you have reached out here as this Community is helpful and supportive.

You can connect with members on this forum who have experienced what you are going through under the topic Losing a parent. Type this topic in the search bar. You are not alone and everything you are going through is normal.

There is nothing is stupid about thinking you cannot cope we have all been there. You were strong for your dad and now you need support and have you have come to the right place for it.

Sue Ryder here has bereavement information and support pages which will be of help to you. It would be worth having a read.

Please continue to reach out any time and take care of yourself. If you need any further information please email or pop on here for a chat.

Take care.