Struggling now with the pain

Just watched’ Romancing the Stone’ film and the end just brings back such memories as we both loved this film.
John’s ashes are with me in the lounge and it helps to talk to him which I have just done to tell him about the film
Why does watching something bring back such happy memories which were years ago.
This, then in turn makes me so upset and the intense pain of losing John five months ago returns and makes me feel so lonely and sad again. I have been ok for the last week. The grief is so cruel and can creep up on you at anytime. Does this ever get better and when will the memories bring happier feelings than the ones I feel now which are unbearable and so painful.
I know we all feel the same and I am thinking of anyone who is feeling like me at this moment.
Saturdays is a difficult day for me anyway as we always went out, for a drink then a meal. My day off from cooking.
Love to you all xx


Really feel for you @Shelley50, it’s a very painful journey we’re on and nobody prepares us for it.
I sit within sight of my late wife’s ashes, 49 years of marriage came to a very quick end and within a few days I lost my childhood sweetheart, lover, wife, mother of our children and best friend. Like you my memories are a very empty drab thing, they were always full of colour and pleasure when I/we could reminisce together.
Please try and be kind to yourself. xx


I feel the same way. When I think of happy times it just makes me feel more sad and wishing he were here. No one but someone going through this really understands. Wish I could stop crying at the drop of a hat. It seems like everything reminds me of him. The pain is unbearable at times.

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I only felt gut wrenching pain with our memories up until now 26 months on I have started to feel some happiness and feel so lucky to have spent many years with him, although obviously wanted to spend longer with him. It’s been such a hard difficult journey, I still cry some days, its the worst thing anyone goes through, I dont feel the same person . I can have a laugh with friends and family now and you will too, we live life with grief., what else can we do.
Amy x