Cont… I understand about the house. It is so hard. I hate that we had to give hers back so quickly. I used to take comfort in going there and sitting in her chair and reading her diaries. I can’t say I would’ve wanted to keep it forever but after 28 years there it had always felt like ours/Mum’s. Giving it back so soon just tore me apart. My brother is dealing with his grief very differently and was keen to give it back quickly. He didn’t go say goodbye to Mum at hospital after she went either nor saw her in the chapel of rest as he just wanted to remember her as she was. I had to say goodbye though, I just couldn’t not kiss her goodbye. It was honestly one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.
Her ashes are now home with me although I couldn’t find the strength to bring them in and she spent two nights in the boot of the car (sorry Mum) Our friend brought her in on Saturday at the same time I got a beautiful summer bouquet of flowers delivered from some friends who just found out my news. The flowers are with her in my spare room, she adored flowers and her gardening so for as long as she’s here I will keep fresh flowers with her. We will go to Ireland eventually as that was her wish but that’s a little way off yet as just functioning on a daily basis is a task in itself.
Another long one I know, so long I had to send it in two parts!!! Sorry!
Hope you’ve had a good week/weekend and are managing to enjoy a little of our versatile summer.
Take good care
Mel, hope you’re doing well too. Xxxx