Husband died, totally out of the blue at airport on way on holiday. Just want the pain to go away. The pain I’m hiding from my family, feel I need to be strong for them. But whilst I’m alone the pain is so strong. Unsure what to do and who I can turn to for help.
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Dear Jane,
I am so sorry to read your post and can relate to the pain and anguish you are feeling. Everyone on this site has lost someone very dear to them and all of us are trying to make sense of the overwhelming grief that follows .
My husband died very suddenly last November, also of cardiac arrest, and I struggle every day to believe it happened and that he’s not coming back. Today has been a particularly bad day as I have been railing against the cruelty of this world, literally talking to myself like someone possessed. Trying to be strong for family is also a familiar theme.
My happy family life shattered the moment my husband died and I am fearful of the future without him. There are some days like today when I don’t even want a future. then I think how much my husband loved life and worked so hard to make s wonderful life for me and our two sons. How can I give up.
Joining this site has helped me realise I am not alone in my despair and that there are ways to cope with the desolation that grief brings.
Hopefully you will find that much needed support . Take care
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Jane, hi, so sorry to hear about your husband it must have been an horrendous experience for you and I know just how hard it it to come to terms with that loss. I think it’s a common thing to want to look strong and that we can deal with the dreadful situation but please just try and let go sometime because it doesn’t work in the end. You don’t say when it happened but the pain will be there for sometime, we just learn to live with it as it decreases enough for us to continue living which is what we have to do. Looking at different posts on this site may help you and give encouragement plus ideas of how to deal with the pain and the reactions of family members.
Please just spend a little of your time looking and thinking what is best for you because we are all different and with grieving, one size doesn’t fit all.
Particular at this time with the virus, you must take care of yourself, I know it’s easier said than done but your immune system will not be as strong, so please take care. This site is always here for you so never feel alone.
Blessings S
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First time reaching out. Just feeling the weight of everyone’s grief. Why why why, questions I know can never be answered. Been with my husband since 15 and now 53. And finding in hard to see the way through to the rest of my future without him in our family.
Like you I am constantly looking for answers as to why we have lost someone around whom our whole life has revolved and gave it purpose.
If you read other posts from people further along in their grief you will see that everyone has a different way of coping. I have no idea how to face the future but others have seemingly found a way to look forward even in the depths of grief. There are many sad stories but somehow people survive. Hope you find some help and hope.
Hi to you both, yes people find away through mainly I think because there is no alternative. Family and friends think all to soon that we are over it, I love that phrase ‘get over it’ as though it’s a bad cold but am afraid we don’t. The answers are not there just like our loved one but no one warns us that we are going to have so much pain. I remember someone saying that my heart was broken and yes that’s so true. When we are left we want to know so much but where to find those answers is difficult and I don’t know about you but the questions change day to day with odd ones staying but no answers, I am sorry, this is grief and it hurts. We do move on because life moves on and we have to go with it. One day you will smile again but you will also feel guilty for smiling but you will smile again. Small baby steps and remember always look after yourself and be kind to yourself, don’t worry about what needs to be done because there is always tomorrow and tomorrow will take care of itself. Love and blessings to you both.S xx
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