Hi my name is Donna I’m 40 & I lost my partner of 3 years 6 weeks ago he was also 40 he was found in the street. I first knew about it over Facebook on a local newspaper profile as we didn’t live together I had to go looking for him his neighbour confirmed it was my partner who had passed away down the road from where he lived. After informing his mother at her workplace on what little information I had we arrived at her home to have a policeman waiting who confirmed he passed away that morning.
A week later the coroner had no cause of death so I’m still waiting on the results of an inquest as to why he passed away suddenly. I stayed with him every day all day at the chapel of rest until a week before the funeral I went to see him & without warning he had changed massively he was black with his eyes both open & mouth starting to open which really messed me up even more. He’s now been buried im sat over his garden every day just sat crying unable to accept he’s even gone in my head I believe he’s gone away somewhere but in time he’ll be back is this normal ? I can’t see living the rest of my life without him. It will be 7 weeks this Tuesday & I feel im getting worse. Im jealous when I see couples I feel bitter how people are able to carry on living their lives & I can’t move on from the day he passed. Can anyone please give me any advice
I’m so sorry to read your message. My husband of 44 years died in bed beside me - cardiac arrest and I have felt everything you have written. Anger, jealousy and total despair. I also didn’t believe it and would always make him a cup of tea waiting for him when he came in. It took a talking to from my son to stop doing it. Johns been dead two years ago and slowly it does get easier. You’ll always carry the sadness but it’s just a reminder of what you have lost. Rest assured the feelings you have are perfectly natural and everyone who has been on this journey has suffered the same.
Warm hugs
Georgina xx
Donna I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my partner 14 weeks ago tomorrow. He died unexpectedly at work from a heart attack. It’s really hard to accept that they won’t be coming back. I still can’t believe it, but also know it’s true. I suppose it is just another way we deal with the grief.
The first few weeks are very raw as you try to process what has happened. I think I was in shock for a good couple of months.
Just take one day at a time, or hour by hour if you need to. Some days you will feel are worse than others, and cry if you need to. I still cry a lot but it is not as much as in the beginning.
I tried to give myself a reason to get up each day in the first few weeks. Even if all I managed was going for a walk with my dog.
Do you have friends and family close by? I have found my close friends invaluable at supporting me.
I also found this forum really helpful. Just know and reading others were going through the same feelings as me was reassuring. So keep posting. You are among friends here.
Take care Janine x
@Don2
So sorry you find yourself here but for now, this is a good place to be.
What you’ve described is the very common feeling of grief.
The beginning is very raw and all consuming. There is nothing anyone can say that will help you feel any better right now but I promise it does get better.
Take smalls steps and embrace how you feel. Do whatever helps you get through the hours and days.
Share how you feel on here as there is support for you.