Struggling to cope since my mum died

Losing a parent
#1

Hello everyone

I am sorry that we have all found ourselves in a situation that brings us here , bereavement is horrendous and I hope we can all find the strength to get through it . Day by day I pray we can :pray:t3:

My mum passed away on the 3rd of November 2022 after a short but brutal battle with lung cancer she had only just turned 50 in the august . Every day I wake up feeling angry and bitter that she’s no longer here and also angry towards my dad who put me my brother and sister through the ringer whilst she was in the hospice .

we didn’t sleep for days and tensions where high as it was an extremely stressful time but I feel that anger is building up like a bottle that’s been shook and is ready to explode . I was extremely close to my mum and my dad keeps acting like he’s the only one who lost her . We had Him at my house for Christmas and he put the urn with my mums ashes in at the end of the table while me and my children where having our Christmas dinner . He doesn’t realise that he’s making the grieving process worse for me and my children , but I also understand that he’s grieving too . I don’t know what I expect from coming here I think I just want to vent to someone who wasn’t family .

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#2

Hello @Panofscouse2023 - I am so sorry you lost your mum so suddenly and so brutally. All this is so hard. Even if we are in families, we still grieve alone, it seems. I am glad you came to share how you feel here. We all understand. We all know how difficult and painful bereavement can be. Your Dad lost his life partner, you lost your mum and her absence is enormous. Maybe try talking to your Dad about your mum, about how you feel. Pent up anger is a corrosive as well as explosive force and it is entirely negative. You all need love, understanding, patience and time to come to terms with the trauma you have experienced. Be gentle with yourself and with each other in these days. Early days in grief are the hardest and that is where you are. Take your time, take a breath, talk to your mum about - I find it helps to talk to Tom and I do it all the time. Know you have friends here who are with you and who understand.

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