Struggling to cope with the loss of my husband

Hi I’m new to this site I thought it might help me if I share abit of my story.i lost the love of my life my husband my soul mate 6 years ago to cancer we was told he would live between 12-18 months has when we found out he had cancer it was already terminal,he lasted 6 weeks we had only been married 3 weeks he was life crumbled I’m lost still after all this time . He told me he wanted me to meet some one new and be happy I don’t think that day will ever come my heart still breaks we had 4 children between us.4 weeks after I lost my husband my grandad died on the same day at the same time as my husband then 6 months later we found my other grandad dead,my life in my eyes was over,I didn’t know how to cope what to do I didn’t want bearevment counselling as it was too hard to go over,I have depression really bad have done for years in January 2015 I took a massive overdose I died twice and was on life support for 3 weeks I’m doing ok but can’t seem to move forward now my son won’t speak to me and I’m not allowed to see my grandson who Iv only met twice when he was born he’s now 2 so I feel like not only am I grieving my husband and 2 grandads I’m also grieving not having my son in my life.i don’t know how to deal with anything,I’m sorry if Iv gone on too much .

I’m so sorry to hear that you lost your husband so young, and about everything else you have been through - you have had such a lot thrown at you and it is no wonder you are struggling.

You have done very well to get to a place where you are doing ok after taking an overdose - did you get any support after this happened? I know you said you couldn’t face counselling at the time, but would you consider it now? Going over difficult times in counselling can certainly be difficult, but many people do find that it helps them to process their emotions and move forward.

The first step to being referred to counselling or bereavement support is to speak to your GP.

You may also be interested in Widowed and Young - an organisation that offers online support and offline meet-ups for people who lost their partners at a young age.

Hi thankyou for replying back ,I have a fantastic network of family and friends who have helped towards my recovery but I still struggle I also have a cpn who is great but I don’t want to see a counsellor one to one I don’t like it .it was a support group I wanted to help me so I can hear their stories and maybe me help them.i can talk to family and friends but they don’t truly understand what I’m going through with losing my husband.

Hello Marley123. I cannot begin to comprehend your level of loss and the anguish experienced, it’s a remarkable achievement to be able to keep moving through this and looking to join a support group whereby you too may help others. The loss of my Husband is so new in comparison, 11 weeks but I can’t come to terms with this and yet I am also fighting against acceptance. Our Husbands are our guidance, protector and constant presence and it’s so hard isn’t. There will be other members that have been bereaved longer than me and will be able to swap their experiences but I do empathise with you, I don’t know yet how to cope myself. PS, is there a local women’s centre in your town that could help in some way?

Hello Tina 19

I’m so sorry to hear of your loss,I know people say this but it does start to ease but when and how much I guess depends on you has a person,for me it took me along time to realise he’s not coming through the door no more or when I leave him a text message he’s not going to reply.i thought I had started to deal with it but I know I’m not, I do believe he’s watching over me like your husband is old was your husband if you don’t mind me asking.i have a fantastic network of friends and family but I’m alone they try to help and I’m grateful for that but just lately it’s getting harder to deal with,Iv checked to see for groups like that but can’t find none and I don’t drive so can’t go any where too far away I don’t want one to one counselling I don’t like that so that’s why I thought about this site.people always say look to the future think positive you have family to think about even though I know this and you know it for yourself it’s not that easy.its still very raw for you and will be for along time but your not on your own feeling like this,have you thought about bereavement counselling it may help you for me I didn’t want that I chose to deal with it my way and Iv realised my way does not work.