Struggling to cope

I am really struggling lately coping with the loss of my brother who died 3 1/2 years ago in a car crash, he was a passenger in a drunk drivers car, I miss him so much every day it hurts, my Father never was the same after and his health deteriorated quickly after my brothers death until in November last year he died of complications due to cancer which he said was caused by his loss of his will to live. Just don’t know what to do at the moment as all I want is to be with them both. Im finding it so difficult.

Hi Lja
You must be hurting so much with losing your brother and your father. I lost my hubby to cancer last Dec and it is the most cruel and horrible disease, but I am sure your brother and father are together and at peace now, but it is always hardest on the ones who are left behind.
Part of the feeling of wanting to be with them and not alive is part of the grieving process, plus anger that they left you etc. Cry, rant , rave or do whatever you need to, to find some release, I allow myself to cry first thing in the morning and again in the evening, I find knowing I can cry later etc helps me control it more throughout the day, Please remember you are not alone we are all here to support you.

Hello Lja, I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your brother and then to lose your dad too is just tragic.

It sounds as though things are very tough for you and you could do with some additional support. I would really encourage you to reach out and speak to someone about how you are feeling.

You could make an appointment with your GP and ask to be referred to counselling or other support services in your area.

If you don’t want to wait and would like to chat to someone over the phone, The Samaritans are always there 24/7 (call 116 123, or

I do hope that helps, and please do stay in touch with us to let us know how you’re getting on.

best wishes

Thank you Nancy