Struggling to cope

I lost my Best Friend of 16 years 6 weeks ago today. She died suddenly and unexpectedly and still don’t know why. I have family around me but they don’t seem to understand why I’m so upset still. Christmas snd New Year was horrible because I didn’t want to celebrate but felt like I had too for other people’s sake. I’m either irritable and angry or crying (openly or when I’m in bed) and don’t want to do much of anything. I lost my school best friend when I was 18 (we’d been friends since we were 3 years old and now have lost another one, it seems like I lose the people who truly understand me and now feel lost and very alone. I am crying as I write this and wonder if I’ll ever get through this?

Hi Sunday, I’m so sorry for your losses. I think what you have felt over Christmas and the New Year is completely normal for somebody who has lost someone so recently. You are feeling understandably disappointed and angry that those around you don’t understand your sadness and feelings of loss. I’m experiencing something similar at the moment. My eldest sister died on the 7th December. She is the 3rd of my siblings to pass away (I’m the youngest of 8). My close friends haven’t offered me support or understanding and don’t seem to realise what I am going through. I can empathise completely with your feelings of irritability and anger, that’s exactly how I feel at the moment. When the tears come it’s usually due to exhaustion or frustration. You ask if you will ever get through this and the honest answer is, I don’t know. All I can say is that time lessens the pain of grief. But new losses bring that pain right back to the surface. I really hope you start to feel a little better and more able to face each day soon.

Dear Mjamstar, thank you for your kind message it meant a lot.
I’m very sorry to hear about your losses, I can’t imagine what that must be like for you. Sending you a big hug and hope that you get the support and understanding that you need.

Back to top