Struggling to find the new normal

Its been five months now without my mum. Nothing feels normal or right. My passion for my job has gone and i havent laughed since the day she passed. Im living the way that people expect me to live but inside im riddled with saddness. I cant talk to my dad because i dont want to upset him. I am lost, totally and utterly lost. Ive started swimming everyday, yoga 3 times a week, i think thats keeping depression away. I want to be me again but i know i never will. I dont show my kids and i do feel i have a pupose when im being a nana. This grief thing is totally and utterly devastating…i want to find me again x

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Hi, I completely empathise as I know that the loss of my Mum in January has also really changed me. I’m not sure we can ever be as we were before… but in time I hope that it’s possible to adapt and be more at ease with the absence. Until then it’s just a case of trying hard to keep going somehow. I’m consciously stepping back from going out and about to things I don’t enjoy at the moment, but maybe one day the motivation will return. Take care xx

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I hope so, im sorry about your mum :pensive: i really understand x i think i to have to create way of life. I miss my mum and i miss the old me…:broken_heart:

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Hi, oh my gosh I totally feel exactly the same as you. I act ok in front of my family as they too are grieving and I dont want to upset my kids by seeing me crying all the time. They are grown up and have their own lives. I dont want to work and have no interest in my job at all. My grandchildren are the only thing keeping me going right now as I feel my life has no meaning anymore. Reading other peoples struggles it seems how we feel is normal and that we need to be kind to ourselves and keep hope that it will get easier xx

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Its good to normalise it and that we all have these feelings. Knowing im not alone or loosing my mind, really helps. Its a roller coaster and each day is different. Love to you x

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I lost my mum in May this year. Although she had been in a care home for 14 months (so I had adjusted a little at home on my own) she had been here in her own home (where I live too) for 50 years. I am very lost. It is so quiet.
It’s really strange isn’t it? When you think back to how everything in your life was probably going so smooth every day, probably not a care in the world or any worries and then, whole life is changed instantly. How often I keep feeling to myself “if only I could have a normal day like it used to be”. Even when I keep myself busy, it’s there nearly all the time. She’s there in my head constantly; my thoughts just cant escape thinking about her.
Does anyone else feel the same?

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Totally the same, every single day im saturated by thinking of how life was, happy and the security and safeness of my mother here. My rock, my go to…and now its gone. I keep busy too but i cant stop thinking of my mam. I think i will miss her for the rest of my life. I will never be me before this loss, i have to accept i am now a very different me x

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I could never contemplate what life would be like now. Obviously I think probably like most people, we think about it, but you can never prepare for what it’s going to feel like, ever I don’t believe. No-one can ever know unless they have experienced it. I would love to have a ‘normal’ day, but I never want to forget her (not that I ever will). Just everything is so hard. I just hope with time the pain will heal and I can remember her and really smile without so many tears. Really hard to know where our grief takes us.

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My mum had cancer and even though i knew what would happen, nothing prepared me for her not being in this world anymore :pensive: a piece of the jigsaw is missing forever x

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give yourself time and be kind to yourself there is no time scale for grief.

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I am just over 6 months from losing my mum suddenly at the end of December and have to say that I don’t think I am getting any better either. I miss her every day, small things like just being able to pick up the phone or see her wave from her kitchen window in the morning before I start work coming back from my walk. I am on holiday with my friend and her son, I used to go with my mum and so many things that she would like and that I can imagine what she would say or do. I don’t like this new journey without her but I know it’s something I will have to get used to. :cry:

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Yes valda, i so relate to how your feeling, i think my emotions are getting worse as time goes on…she was my greatest supporter and best friend…its so hard, i miss the fun and banter and her laugh and smile…i constantly think oh my.mother would love this or go to say i got to tell my mother this…its horribke x

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Ejw, I feel the same, I’m so sorry for your loss,

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