Struggling to get over my mums death with a new baby

I had my first baby (ivf) on 23rd October 2016. Three days later and just 8 hours after meeting her grand daughter, my mum suffered a severe bleed on her brain and died. It was such a huge shock to us all.
At the time the baby was a huge distraction to my mums death and my mums death was a huge distraction to having a new baby. Now 4 months on the grief has hit me hard. I’m constantly on the verge of tears and I’m so angry that I’ve been robbed of having my mum around when I need her the most.
Our friends and family could not have been more supportive. We had home cooked meals cooked and delivered to us. Countless offers to have the baby and tea on tap and plenty of shoulders to cry on.
As time goes on other people’s lives go back to normal and I now feel very lonely.
Sorry for the long message. I’ve never posted on anything like this before.
Thanks for taking the time to read

Aw hun I so feel for you and understand I am in an almost similar situation I lost my partner in June and had a breakdown in October and had to give up fostering our grandchildren. I cry daily and today I posted my story too a lovely lady messaged me and it felt better to have someone understand how I was feeling. I am sending u a big hug xx this site is good for sharing our feelings.

Thank you for taking the time to reply and I’m very sorry for your loss. It’s just so awful isn’t it.
You’re quite right though, it is great talking to people who can understand how you feel.
I put on such an act around friends as I feel like they’ve got their own problems and families to deal with and they don’t need to constantly hear about my issues.
My boyfriend is really supportive but he’s also so happy with the baby and constantly making plans and getting excited and I’m finding it so hard to get on board with it all.
I’m so sorry you are having such a hard time. Do you have family and friends around you? Xx

About an hour away for my family this is a new area to me haven’t made any friends yet as I’m not in the right place yet mentally . I’m glad u have your boyfriend for support and your beautiful baby too. Somebody said to me once every day it will get easier then the tears come and I feel guilty I’m no further forward each new day I hope you begin to get back on the ladder again but I’m here if you wanna share xx

I know exactly how you feel. I haven’t been to any baby groups yet because I’m not in the right head space to meet new people. Then I feel guilty that the baby isn’t socialising!
I e had some days where i haven’t been tearful but that makes me feel guilty too!
It’s such a rollercoaster.
I really appreciate you responding and I hope too that gradually things feel a little easier. My mums partner of 8 years took it so badly as they had made so many plans together for the future and we always tell him that she would hate to see him so sad and would want him to carry on travelling and doing all the things they loved doing. It’s so hard but he’s getting out and about when he can face it and says he feels much better once he’s out.