In the last 4 years I’ve lost 5 people in my family. In the last 12 months iv lost 4 of them. I’m starting to struggle with guilt and everyday life.
My grandmother and I were so so close, I told her everything and she was my hero, I regularly go see her grave and iv now started to talk to her feeling silly but knowing she’d love it and I’m finding it easier as some time goes on but missing her everyday more and more. Since then iv lost the dad to my wonderful siblings to a heartattack, my great uncle and aunt (brother to my granny) and now my youngest uncle at such a young age! I’m devastated and it’s all getting ontop of me! I feel the guilt that i didn’t spend enough time with them or argued about silly things and it just seems to keep happening, I’m just losing more and more people around me. I don’t know where to go from here and I’m starting to lose myself, finding it hard to work (I’m self employed tattoo artist) working with a people facing role is hard when you’re having to concentrate. I want to do well at life but I have all these feelings and can’t do anything with them. Sorry for rambling iv never done this before
but I’m going for a big walk today, hopefully that will help
i lost 2 aunts last year, my mother in law and most recently I lost my precious husband 
…I hope you can get back to work soon, take care and God bless you 
