Struggling with my wife's death

I lost my wife nearly 2 months ago she was my rock and best friend. Everyday is a struggle I fear what is going to happen to me. She was only 47. I love her to bits and miss her dearly I just what her back. My life has been ripped apart. She was my life.

Hi Den
I know you’re not doing ok and so I won’t ask how you are. This site, however you use it, has helped me a lot the past 10 days. I hope that it will also bring you some comfort. I can tell you that I’ve felt the same despair that you allude to in your message; it’s the pits isn’t it? Please keep talking to us and the people closest to you. We can’t make everything ok but we can listen and empathise, many on here more so than me. Have you reached out to any support services? I’ve been speaking with a counsellor for the past few weeks and it’s been so helpful talking through my feelings in a safe way, and to a gentle and trained ear. I can not recommend that to you enough. Nothing can replace the ones we love, and nor should it, but I do believe in time that we can all learn to live again, albeit differently, little-by-little. Take care and thank you for sharing your feelings. C x

Hello Den17

I’m so sorry to hear about the sad loss of your beloved wife. It sounds as though things are very tough at the moment and you are feeling overwhelmed.

I’m glad that you’ve been able to share how you are feeling here, and I hope that you find the community a good source of support. Everyone here has experienced the loss of a loved one and will understand some of what you are going through.

Sue Ryder offers an online bereavement counselling service. This is a free service and sessions are held via video chat so you can attend from home. There’s more information about this service here: www.sueryder.org/counselling

Another good place to get support is Cruse Bereavement, they offer a helpline, email support, and counselling and support groups through their local services: 0808 808 1677, helpline@cruse.org.uk, http://www.cruse.org.uk/bereavement-services.

Please know we are always here for you.

Take care,
Audrey
Online Community team

I am glad you found this site. It is a terrible time for you and in grief, you don’t always find the emotional support you need. Here, you will gain extra comfort and understanding. Here, you can unload your feelings to a welcoming ear. What you are experiencing is something so unholy, so hard. But your wife, I am quite sure, would want you to find some way to carry on. Protect yourself. You are No. 1, right now. That is what I have learned. Keep coming back, whenever you need to. It is a long journey so be very very easy, on yourself.

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Hi Den . I’m sorry for your loss it must be devastating to lose your life partner and so young… This is a great support group and there is also a group Widowed and young which my daughter has found helpful as its people in exactly the same situation.

Hello Den, I’m so sorry you have lost the love of your life. I lost my wife suddenly 3 months ago and your words express exactly what I feel. However, my wife was 75 and yours only 47, but we both have a huge hole in our lives and our hearts. I felt my wife was taken too early but yours certainly was and that is an additional burden to deal with. There are no quick fixes for your pain but you may wish to follow up on the counselling services offered. You must take care of yourself and seek help where ever you can. My thoughts are with you, take care. AL

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Hi Den it’s just awful losing the love of your life. I lost my Frankie 6 weeks ago. He was 51 fit and healthy. We were only together 12 years. I am trying to look after myself with the help of my loved ones. I’ve thought about counselling. Did talking therapies when I lost my dad and it helped. This is totally different as I had Frankie to lean on then. We all need to find a way to get through this. Take care. Posting on here does help.

Hi Den17,
I have the very similarr feelings as I lost my husband over 2 months ago. I can not describe my feelings. Lost, broken…he was 39 fit and healthy? Why why?

Den I lost my husband 29th May and I feel the same as you. Broken hearted and frightend of the future.

MarieM1 sorry about your lost I speak to my wife everyday I hope she hears me
.Be strong make sure you have family around you and friends. Get some professional help as I will. Just look after yourself just take everyday as it comes

Nuran
Sorry to hear about your husband so young as like my wife. I say why why. Be brave and strong speak to your husband like I speak to my wife I know they can hear us. Make sure you have family and friends around you
Seek professional help like I will. Look after yourself and take everyday as it comes

Thanks Den17,
My downside is that i do not want to see any friends at the moment as I can not bear seeing happy families at the moment. I am very angry with life at the moment as my love has taken from me out of blue.
I am thinking I may be better person or opposite I will come out of this.
We all know life is cruel but i wish it was not a death sentence just dealing with broken legs or arms it would have been better as there is no return with our situation and is killing me.

Nuran I feel the same I can’t bear seeing friends that are happy couples they can’t possibly understand the pain.
My Husband was the love of my life and I don’t understand how God could let this happen to me.

MarieM1,
Yes I keep saying that how God could let this hapoen to me when we were so hapoily married.
I will never get over this as like everyone knows it was not fair.
I can see clearly whats fair in this world? Worth to live? I do not think so but I have my lovely son, half of my love so need to be positive and strong for him.