Struggling with out my les

My partner lesley passed away on 9 March 2019, i miss her so much, we been together for 10 half years, every day and night 24 7, we worked together and lived together, she got cancer in 2015 I blame the hospital and her oncology team towards the end of 2018, im so angry with everyone including the world, i have no one to support me or visit me, my family don’t bother they say they care but its rubbish, i thought the friends me and les had was both our friends but obviously not, I’ve tried committed suicide, im depressed, angry, lonely and empty, please don’t tell me it’s a process, I’m sick of hearing it, I’ve had two lots of counselling and now seeing a psychologist

hi Shazza
sorry to hear your going through this dreadful pain called grief,wish I could tell you things get easier.sadly were all on this site looking for empathy and comfort,mostly because so called family and friends dont really understand.i dont think anyone is in a position to comprehend how we feel if they haven’t been through coping a little by living like Jayne my partner of 28 years is with me.ive surrounded my self with pictures and possessions of Jaynes.i tell her I love her every day.its my choice to do this and im not interested in hearing those who say what would Jayne want me to do.i aint got a clue because we didn’t talk about any of us passing.and those who drone on about only having 1 life so move on ,wish they would bugger not really religious ,but believing I will be with Jayne when I leave this mortal coil is comforting.i had to move from the home I shared with Jayne for over 20 years,i had aggravation from Jaynes 2 brothers and her parents.
their actions were both disrespectful to Jaynes memory and the relationship we had shared for all those years.i would of loved to of stayed in the home we shared ,sadly I moved out in august last year.because I had no choice.hope you can find a way to cope,ive no real just taking a day at a time.i know inside that Jayne will always be in my heart mind and soul forever.

Shazza. I know how you feel. We all do on here and that is one comfort we can do with. My friends are sympathetic but you can tell the difference between them and the people on here. It is a good place to come to especially when at your lowest times. Hugsx

I thought I had friends but obviously not, I used to be someone when les was here now I’m a nobody, nobody cares, nobody thinks about me if they did they would text or call me, my own family don’t bother with me,

Hi Shazza, you sound in such a state, I would love to know if things have improved since you first come to the site. Life is not good when that special person lives us and we are left to pick up the pieces but please never think you are alone. I know it sounds crazy and if you told me that, I would be saying this a few years ago, I would have said you are crazy but I do now believe that something is watching over us, I don’t know what but so many times things have happened that I now feel yes there is something, what ever it is or what name you put on it, I now feel, just ask for help to keep going and see. That’s all I can say, yes, sometimes I think I am crazy but so what, if I am, then that’s me now and if it gets me from one day to the next, so what.