Struggling with the loss of my best friend

I dont really know what to write but I am feeling really low and thought sharing on here would be a good place to start.

I lost my best friend of 21 years a month ago and her funeral was last week. She had lived abroad with her husband and 2 daughters for the last 10 years and so we only saw each other a couple of times a year and even less in the last couple of years due to Covid. She came home to the uk at the beginning if december but was very poorly. Her care team managed to get her strong enough to be with her family for Chtistmas which was brilliant and I was due to go and see her in January but she took a sudden turn for the worse and went into a hospice and passed away 3 days later. I never got to see her it was heartbreaking.

She was funny, caring, bubbly and beautiful inside and out and just filled any room with sparkle. She was the friend who just got me, even though we did not see each other all the time every time we would meet it would be like we had never been apart. For those special memories I am forever grateful, but knowing I will never be able to make any more memories with her is breaking my heart.

She was my firiend but really she was like a sister. Im just filled with so much sadness and finding it hard to cope with the waves of emotion that just make we want to cry. I know she would not want me to be sad but finding it hard to smile right now.

These waves of emotion hit us all in the early days, and we cant really avoid them. When we are in the midst of them, we cant see how we can ever see an end to them.

That’s what grief is.

But be confident and patient, it really does ease, gradually. We begin remembering the happy memories more and more. No quick fixes!
It’s said the journey through grief is typically 6 to 18 months. We cant go over it or under it, we just have to go through it!, Mine took about 7 months, and now (10 months) I feel far better, and my new life has entered a new happy(ish) chapter.

I’m sat here looking at her photo, and I can assure you I have a big smile on my face with just a little tear in my eyes
So hang in there, it really will get a lot better if you work at it.

Good luck.

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Thank you for this. I’m just gonna take it a day at a time