Struggling with the loss of my mum

My mum passed away very suddenly on the 17th of August. I saw her in the morning and by the afternoon she was gone. She hadn’t been ill or anything just collapsed at home and was gone. I’m an only child so don’t have anyone who’s going through this the same as me. My dad really struggled after and hit the drink so I was having to look after him, my little girl my house his house and go to work I just never new if I was coming or going. My dad improved and went back to work which gave me some breathing space so I felt I was able to deal with my grief a little bit. My dad then got very ill he had flu and pneumonia and ended up in hospital on Christmas day so again I was running about all over the place. He’s now doing better and going back to work again. I just feel so low all the time the only thing that keeps me going is my little girl she’s such a ray of sunshine but even then when I take her to her toddler groups and watch her having fun and learning new things I find I can’t interact with anyone as I just feel so sad.

Hi Susan,

I’m so sorry to hear that your mum passed away suddenly and that your dad has also been ill. It sounds as though you are feeling quite low and overwhelmed. It’s still early days for you, so it’s really important to be kind to yourself and to give yourself time to grieve, especially if you feel you didn’t have a chance to do so while busy looking after your dad.

I hope that being part of this Online Community can be a good outlet for your feelings and make you feel a little less alone. While you wait for more replies to your post, you may find it helpful to have a read of some of the recent posts in the Losing a Parent section of the site. You will see that there are many people here who are experiencing similar things - feel free to reply to any posts if you would like to.

If there’s anything I can help with, or you have any questions about the site, just let me know.

Community Manager

Hi Susan I just want you to know that I really understand what you’re going through. I have 2 children, my mum passed away mid December and my dad was admitted to hospital the week after christmas. Having to go to work too. Like you, i am so sad. This week I’ve felt a bit better, i don’t know why. But i don’t want to socialise. I get to work and sort my children out. Other than that i try to avoid people. I’m not my usual happy, positive self…i don’t want to talk about my mum as i just cry and I’ve got nothing else to say. The children are a distraction from my grief. I must say that just writing on this site, and reading other people’s experiences, is helping. It’s hard to have time to just grieve when there’s so much else to do. Try and set some time aside, even an hour a day, just for you. Just so you can process your thoughts. We are lucky to have children that we have to get up for and who keep us going. It’s really hard but just get through one day at a time. X

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Thank you so much for your reply. I’m so sorry that your going through this aswell, but I’m glad to know that what I’m experiencing is normal.

Yes, you are so right. I feel that knowing someone else feels the same is strangely reassuring although, at the same time, it’s horrible to think others are going through the same pain. I hope you’ve had an okay day todayx

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