I don’t even really know what to type to be honest.

Lost my Dad 6 weeks ago now, some people are acting like it never happened but majority of people are being so lovely, altho the questions are you okay or how are you doing? Are both nice and irritating in equal measures.

I was at work today and there was a stressful situation and I just couldn’t cope, I had to walk away from the customers as I just wanted to scream at them, I took myself to a quiet place to calm down, not long after a couple of my colleagues appeared, they could see I was distressed and were amazing giving me time and space to calm down. However, and I’ve not shared this with anyone, I noticed that subconsciously I had been scratching at my arm, quite hard as well, it left some red marks, they are fading now, 5hrs later, but how did I not realise I was even doing this?

I’m scared that I’m doing things I don’t realise as well as having brain fog and can’t remember bugger all.

Sorry if this doesn’t make sense i just wanted to get it off my chest so to speak.


Hello @Lostdaughter,

I’m part of the Online Community team - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling scared and totally overwhelmed. I’m so sorry to hear about the recent loss of your Dad. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.

I wanted to share a few resources with you that might be helpful.

You might also want to reach out to Cruse Bereavement who offer a helpline, email support, and counselling and support groups through their local services: 0808 808 1677, ,

I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.
Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.
Take care,


Hello Lostdaughter
Im sorry for your loss and I feel your pain . I know what it like to have brain fog it might be worth speaking to your dr about the scratching . You are not alone we all have brain fog it is the brain and it will turn on us . Yes it make a lot of sense Greif is painful it blows your whole world upsidedown and inside out it makes the most easy everyday thing seem so hard sending much love alway listening xxx


Hello there. I lost my mother on Christmas Day 2021. I’m grieving every day. The thing to remember is self care. If you don’t feel right, tell people. They will understand, and if they don’t, explain it tge best way you can. It’s absolutely ok to set boundaries for how you are supported and these boundaries will change as time goes on. Brain fog is normal, lacking empathy fir anyone else is normal. Emotional paralysis or extreme low moods is normal. However you describe how you feel such as numb, highly emotional, instant crying, no crying… it’s all normal. Your grief feels so profound but please know that with the love we had for our mother/father comes pain in grief. It’s all normal. If you can deal with the anxiety after your shock, great, if not get help from a doctor. Be assertive. They’re not you. Don’t settle for shabby treatment from anyone whilst you feel vulnerable. Tell friends and they will help. Thinking of you xx

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So sorry for your loss. I lost my dad Nov 2019 and felt all the same thing you are feeling. The brain fog is real and sometimes I can’t remember large periods of time since he died.
I am currently struggling with feeling Chritmassy at all this year. My thoughts are with you and if I have any advice at all: be gentle with yourself and do whatever you feel will help you. It doesn’t matter what anyone else says, you have to do what’s right for you.
Sending love.