Recently lost my husband of 48 years. He went to bed and didn’t wake up. I am beside myself with grief but also guilt. Guilt that I didn’t know the day was his last day and didn’t make it special. He was a great man, he always looked after me and family and I don’t know how to go on without him. I am desperate to know he is ok and happy and also that i am dealing with things the way he would have wanted. I feel so lost without him.


@Suepatricia , im so sorry for loss. My husband had a cardiac arrest whilst out cycling on 2nd April and died on 8th April. I can’t remember the last thing i said to him as he left. I wish i could. I feel broken. He always looked after me too, the wind beneath my wings, i always said. I miss him so, but i get up, sort the finances, walk the dog and see friends and family, but i am an empty shell. Sending lots of love and hope we do learn to live with this grief.

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So sorry to hear of your loss @Suepatricia. Guilt is a bugger even though we have nothing to feel guilty about. I cannot imagine what experiencing a sudden death must be like (my partner died after living with cancer for 3 years so I was prepared yet not prepared if you know what I mean). Try not to let it eat away at all those 48 years of love and memories and happiness that you shared. Talk to us on the forums or come and join the Zoom meetings that some forum users have organised on Tuesday and Friday evenings at 8pm. You’re not alone here - we’re all on that path, some futher down it than others but all willing to lend an ear or a hand to everyone else.
If you (or anyone else reading this) want more info on the Zoom meetings send a pm to @KarenF or myself to be added to the group information about Zoom links etc. Best wishes.