It’s been 3 months since my dad passed away and I’m finding things harder. I don’t want to get out of bed, I’m tired all the time and don’t find joy in day to day life. I am a school teacher and due back at work on Friday- I’m just not ready! I went back to work for the last two weeks of the term and had a phased return- but the thought of going back to a full timetable fills me with dread! Any help or advice?


Hello Sinkers

I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - I’m so sorry to hear about your dad. It can feel overwhelming returning to work, and it might be worth speaking with your manager about any further support they can put in place for you.

Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that might be helpful.

I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.

Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.

Take care, Rhi

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Hi. Sorry to hear of your loss. Are you able to go back part time to start with? It could help. You never know, you may get back to work and find it a real help to distract yourself. I am working for myself, but I find that when my mind is totally occupied (on work) it just blocks out everything and I feel so much better. My thoughts are with you. It is such a hard time. I just try to get myself motivated out of bed every day. I know it is so hard, but if you start the day feeling down (which we all are) it just makes the whole day worse in my opinion. I try to stick to a routine, however hard. xx

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So sorry to hear this. I’m a former teacher who left due to my own poor mental health, and I wish I’d been braver about asking for help and allowing myself more time and less guilt. I hope you find your management supportive and helpful. Depending on the age of your pupils, you might find it useful to explain the bare bones of why you are tired and sad. Children need to see the realities of life and are often a real source of hope and strength in the darkest times. All the best with it x

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Hiya Sinkers,
So sorry to read your post
I am a retired Headteacher.Just wondering if you could go on sick leave for a while. Sometimes it helps to have time away from the workplace altogether. Speak with your Head or Human Resource Dept and explain how you feel. You are entitled to a few months on sick leave then phased return.Have you taken sick leave already though.
Do you have your own class? Ask your Head if there is any possibility if you can have a different role eg covering PPA time instead of having full time responsibility for a class or some other role within the school. You never know there could be something.Could you
drop down a day or two or job share with someone.
Have you considered help from a counsellor to get your mood a bit better.
Your dad wouldn’t want you to fall apart and I expect like most parents he was very proud of you and your achievements in life so I hope you get some help soon so your lovely career doesn’t suffer.
Thinking of you
Deborah x