Really struggling after losing my 24 year old son…
I am so sorry for you loss.
I also lost my son he was 29.
Parents should never have to make funeral arrangements for their children. When a child dies regardless of their age a part of us goes with them. We will have that piece missing for the rest of our lives. We will never be the same person we were.
Having said all the negative stuff you will learn to live better than you are now. Not every day will be a struggle. Have a rant, cry, scream do something to let it out
Sending love and hugs, you are not alone xx
Yes you are right a part of me has died with him…i wish he made better decisions in his lfe i am absolutely shattered…sending so much love back x
I too am really struggling today, non stop crying. I lost my son through drugs but when I’m more calm I can try and think he is at peace, it’s a coping mechanism for me. Our lives are changed forever unfortunately but somehow we learn to live in a different way. I write a journal everyday and find this helps xx
Im so sorry for your loss…my boy died thro drugs aswel…i no exactly how u feel my hearts been ripped from my body! 15 weeks and 1 day i am struggling even more…i have guilt sitting laughing with my smaller children when he had got into so much trauma and refused our help…i will never understand my lifes ruined forever…sending u a big hug…sometimes i get comfort out of speakin to people who have lost a child as they no exactly how u feel xxx
I’m sorry for your loss .
It does help to know sadly there are others out there who know how you feel including me .
Have you checked out the compassionate friends?
They run support groups throughout the uk .
They also have retreats for people bereaved by substance use .
No i just found this by chance i didnt wven look for.it it flashed on my fb an advert i am so glad i joined now sending you love xx
They have a forum too …
Thanks tilly i will look into this now xxx
I use TCF sometimes but I prefer this site for some reason, think this one is easier to use, but that maybe just me. They don’t seem to have any support in my area. However if it helps you then that’s good xx
This site is the only place people actually understand as unfortunately we are all in the same situation. My son turned down so much help, found that much out when I read the bundle from the coroner before his inquest next week. Drugs ruined him and have destroyed my life by losing him. No answers to any of it xx
So sorry for your loss, its a type of loss that unless you have experienced it no one else can understand, its not like the loss of any other relative. Im just 6 weeks in and currently putting so much blame on myself at what I missed what I should have done, if only he had gotten some help, I find this board very handy talking to others that can understand how we feel is very helpful, take care
This is the only place anyone understands. I’m nearly 6 months in and still not coping, sometimes it feels like yesterday. I’m in a cleaning frenzy again, but actually feel like smashing something and don’t want to see anyone xx
We were about to replace the bathroom, weekend before he went my husband was going to rip out bathroom no idea why he didnt know we have already bought new sink i have thought a few times about taking hammer to old sink. But husband says since our original plans for bathroom were to suit my son now he was going to live here next 2 years, put in a shower, but now it will be a cheap like, for like replacement
I think sometimes it’s good to get a project on the go, where it involves smashing something. I got my partner a while ago to smash a load of plates…crazy I know but I felt better after that. Since I have lost my son we have turned some of the garage into a utility room, why I’m not sure as there only two of us and we have so much space, but it gave him something to do. I just can’t get somethings out of my head and play the same thing over and over again. I’m not sure how I’m going to cope at the inquest. It also getting to the 3rd anniversary of losing my Mum which isn’t helping xx
Anniversaries are hard, though my husband doesnt even know the date of his dads death, he can not understand people doing something on that day ( his brother has his dads favourite meal) . It was 5 years this June that we lost Emily ( my cousin but i was next of kin, i said then arranging a funeral for a 28 year old was something i never wanted to repeat) ive only started feeling better now ( though on her 1st birthday after passing i had a dream and i could here her saying it was time for me to stop crying everyday she was okay) so based on that time im not going to get better , though ive booked a councilling session for next week to see if that will help. Our house will be too big, we dont have a spare bedroom so my husband wants to convert my sons, im we can just sleep in there, its only my parents at Christmas that stay normally, i dont want visitors anyway. One bedroom which only had enough room for a cot has a tumble dryer and freezer in, but when theres just the two of us i can probably manage without them as well. My husband has an office in one bedroom, but when my son goes to uni, the little bit we separated off for the boys to also game will also be free.
Glad you have booked counselling for next week and I really hope that will help you. Xx