It’s a year now just had the first anniversary of losing my Dad. I’m still struggling. I had to sit and watch him die for 24 hours and i still keep reliving it. I must admit in the past year I did have very dark thoughts I didn’t want to live without him. Thinking of topping myself as life was so horrible without him. I can’t believe I’ve survived a year without him and I thought i couldn’t even cope with a day. He was my hero, best friend and a great team mate in looking after my mum with Parkinson’s. I don’t think i will ever feel better than this. Having no family or kids it makes it so much more difficult.
I feel lost and alone i don’t recognise myself right now. The old Kate died with her Dad. I try don’t get me wrong i do try and do it for my Dad but i have this great big hole in my heart that hurts so much.


I’m so sorry for your loss, my dad died in June, and I’m struggling so much, like you said life isn’t the same with out them, my dad has left a massive gap, I was his carer for 4 years and then nothing, it feels wrong, i try to distract myself, but as soon as I stop it hits me all over again,
I can’t imagine a whole year with out my dad, you have done so well to get to this point x

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Thank you for getting in touch and I’m so sorry to hear you have lost your Dad too. Dads are so special and me and mine were so close. I cared for my Dad too the last 6 months of his life. I miss him terribly. Grief is shit and the worst thing I’ve ever been through in my entire life. I’m 51 and i still need my Dad. Thank you for your kind words, every second of every day i think of my Dad. I do hope you have support and friends or people that are there for you. Everyone’s grief journey is different and there is no timeline for anyone. Kindest Regards Kate x


Grief really is shit, and this is definitely the worst thing I’ve ever been through,
The consultant decided to stop my dad’s dialysis, so we knew it was coming, but I feel angry that my dad would still be here now if they kept giving him dialysis, I feel guilty i didn’t do more to fight for dad and so upset that he’s gone, my family fell out in my dads final days, which only add to the hurt and anger that they did that when my dad was dying


I totally get what you mean. It’s a terrible loss when you have been so close - I’m really struggling too - take care x

I am 58 and I still need my dad. He was always my go to for advice. I miss him with all my heart. I was with him until the very end and I will never forget the tightest of hugs he gave me when he realised I I wasn’t going to leave him - gosh it breaks my heart. I know someday these will be happy memories but I am definitely not there yet. I just miss my dad so very very much - it’s such a relief to reach out to others who feel the same

Hi Kate
I too have just gone through the 1st anniversary of my mum’s sudden passing on 4th October. The build up was awful reliving the last few days and all the what ifs….why didn’t I’s ……
The year has gone very quickly despite the intense pain. I lost my dad at 9 but nothing prepared me for the enormity of this loss. I’m also 51 but feel like a little girl now I’ve lost both my parents.
Always here if you want to chat. Take care.
Kate x