Struggling

#1

Hi,

I lost my Dad in January 2018. He was poorly from throat cancer and really suffered towards the end (definitely feels like I could have done more). We never spoke about emotionally awkward things so when he got sick we kept it very professional until he had a complication during surgery and he text me to say he had nearly died. I think that freaked him out as he sent me all his bank details and told me he would like a no fuss funeral. Again he told me in a text that unfortunately treatment hadnt worked and he was going into hospice. He started to deteriorate on Christmas eve and died on the 4th of Jan. The thing im struggling with most is no one else is grieving for him. My mum and him are separyed, im an only child and he lost all his friends from alcoholism, parents are passed away. so its kinda just me who feels like this. Got a good support network but just feel like screaming and crying sometimes. Hate being at work when i feel like this.

#2

I am sorry for your loss I loses my my mum in jaunary 2018 . My heart goe’s out to you estenson . It is hard and scream as much as you want . Take care x

1 Like
#3

So sorry to read this. I get where you’re coming from. I’m an only child too and I’m preparing myself for my mum to die soon. And sometimes it feels incredibly lonely and frustrating when no one else seems to be as upset or distressed as I am. But I’m trying to keep it in my mind that they are grieving in their own way (even if they look fine on the outside). And that the parent-child bond is one of the strongest. So in a way, try to see all the pain we’re feeling as a good thing, because it means we were connected to our parent in a way that no one else in the family could relate to with them.
Definitely let it all out and have a scream and rant and cry whenever you need to. And as for work, maybe have a word with your boss. They may be able to help out more than you thought they could or at least understand why you need a couple of extra breaks.
Take care of yourself x

1 Like
#4

Thank you Trigger. Im so sorry to hear of your Mums passing. Its comforting to know Im not the only who feels like this. Take care x

#5

Thanks Nicola - youre so right its an incrsubly special bond. Im so sorry to hear your Mum is unwell. It must be exhausting for you. Just be kind to yourself - I know it must hard that other people in your family dont seem to care. Thanks for the practical advice re work - just seems a little strange to need time off when it was six months ago but i supppse you cant help how you feel . Take care x

1 Like