I lost my Dad in January 2018. He was poorly from throat cancer and really suffered towards the end (definitely feels like I could have done more). We never spoke about emotionally awkward things so when he got sick we kept it very professional until he had a complication during surgery and he text me to say he had nearly died. I think that freaked him out as he sent me all his bank details and told me he would like a no fuss funeral. Again he told me in a text that unfortunately treatment hadnt worked and he was going into hospice. He started to deteriorate on Christmas eve and died on the 4th of Jan. The thing im struggling with most is no one else is grieving for him. My mum and him are separyed, im an only child and he lost all his friends from alcoholism, parents are passed away. so its kinda just me who feels like this. Got a good support network but just feel like screaming and crying sometimes. Hate being at work when i feel like this.