Life at the moment feels as if I’m stuck in a rut .
I want to go out then when Im Out I want to come home.
I love northern soul music and dancing . My cousin has said if ever you want to go come with us ( her and her husband ) but I don’t like saying “ can I come” . But then like I said earlier I want to go out at the week end but as the week end approaches I get as I don’t want to go out .
It’s not like I stay in the house all the time I support with my grandchildren taking them to school two days a week , take my mum shopping, and today Iv been to see an old colleague also a widow and it was like a breath of fresh air being able to talk to someone who knows exactly how you feel .
I don’t know if this not wanting to go out dancing is because I’m getting older or if it just a phase I’m going through , I really just can’t be bothered . Does anyone else feel like this and how do you overcome it .
I’ve struggled with social occasions generally since my partner Sunny died aged 57 nearly a year ago. If its a few people that I know well it might be ok, but I feel overwhelmed and tongue-tied in situations where there are alot of people, particularly couples. I feel adrift and miss him being by my side so very much.
Maybe Kazzer you should try it once and see if you get into your rhythm again 
. If you relax and have fun, great. If not, then you’ve not lost anything- perhaps it’s just too soon or maybe it’s time to try a different activity.
Wishing you a lovely evening out 
Sophie x
Hi @Kazzer, I know what you mean. I do go out and about with my family as I feel safe, secure with them, if I’m quiet they know why and it’s the same with close friends. But I’m always ready to come back to the sanctuary of home.
I was invited to a 50th wedding anniversary party, it was ok, but without my husband at my side I find it difficult making conversation with people I don’t know. He was such a social person could talk to anyone and I miss that.
One of my neighbours says pop round any time for coffee, I know what you mean about saying can I come now.
I still work so often when I get home I can be bothered to go out again.
But having said that, you love your Northern Soul music, give it a go, you might surprise yourself and have a great time.
Debbie X
Hi I went to a family wedding a few weeks ago after ten months of being at home, it was very hard and I forced myself to go , it was bittersweet the music just stirs so many memories and they did a surprise waiter singing a medley of queen who I love, and I stood amongst all those people waving our arms crying my eyes out because of what I have lost and will never have again but everyone stood with me and although I felt incredibly guilty it was lovely to be with people who cared for me and let me cry, and my husband would have been the first to pull me up and dance he would have loved the atmosphere, our feelings of grief are so complex there always seems to be a trade off but I’m glad I went and I’m trying to deal with what it has brought up the guilt, feeling that I’m leaving him behind, facing up to my new life and letting go and stirrings inside that I may be ok or I could choose to retreat back to my lonely life xx
MAB since my husband passed 20 months ago I have been to a couple of northern soul venues and a Motown week end in Whitby. I also got invited to Robs best friends 60th. Birthday which was nice and very welcoming . I have another week end Motown planned for later in the year .
Hi
I have friends who say pop in anytime or if you want to go for a coffee or a walk let us know. I find that hard to do. It’s much easier when someone rings me and asks me if I want to go somewhere. Maybe it’s a lack of confidence thing.
Never been to a northern soul night but they do look great fun. You should try and give it a go.
Good luck xx
My husband loved northern soul he was a real show off on the dance floor, I had never heard of it till I met him, typical southerner he would say and I love the film which helped me understand it more as a movement to be fair I am four years younger than him or was I should say but I say anything that can lift our wounded spirits is worth a go even if it causes painful memories too xx
Barbara 61 northern soul venues are great fun and they certainly get you fit . The good thing about them is you get to know people by going to the same venues each week without really knowing them if you know what I mean . They are not places to have conversations about kids , pets , work , everyday issues because everyone goes for the love of the music and either enjoy watching or getting on the floor to dance . If ever I feel down I find the music really lifts my spirits . If ever you get the chance to go you go if you like the music ( not everyone does) take care Karen x💕