Stupidest idea ever

Since my husband died in December ive never stopped as ive had to step in and run his business which i hate but do except that its probably been for the best as its forced me to get out of bed every day however on a good day a few weeks ago i booked a 4 days away in majorca, where we regularly went as i thought this would be easier on my own knowing area :thinking: it was always a dream of mine to go away on my own as my husband was very high maintenance but now ive got what i wanted i feel awful i do know that i need a rest as my head feels like its going to explode but im now stuck in majorca crying my eyes out and so miserable as every where i look i just see him ive gone from being busy at home to having 24hrs a day to think about him and its absolute torture :cry: everywhere i look i just think he is going to come walking round the corner when is it going to sink in he is gone and not coming back :broken_heart::broken_heart:

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Do you have any family to text/ring? I don’t have much advice that would be practical, but sending you love x

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Damn those moments of bravery! But you booked it because you knew you could do it. And you are doing it! You’re allowed to remember him and cry and maybe allowing yourself this time to indulge in him is what you need. None of this is easy, it’s absolutely shite but be proud that you’ve done it!
If you really can’t cope, can you get an earlier flight home?

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Yes um talking to them throughout the day :pray: thank you :heart:

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Honestly I know how you feel so sorry this happened to you. It’s so hard and I want to say it gets easier but I’m still waiting for that to happen. You are very brave for doing that I met my soulmate in Dubai as he lived there and I’ve literally said I don’t think I can ever go back there or I’ll just break down, I’d feel like the ghost of him is still there and I wouldn’t be able to breathe. I miss him so much. I think that you should also call someone you’re comfortable with and just cry to them so you’re not alone. When you’re ready to go out it might help talking to strangers aswell as you know I won’t see them again. Please try to be well and safe

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As someone else said, perhaps, maybe it will help you, to just stop and let out some grief, away from the busy business, try and relax and focus on you for a moment, let out the tears. I find writing my feelings down or writing about your loved one helps, although hard through the tears. Then read it back. I wrote 6 pages of a4 when I was really upset and I wanted to tell someone how I met Keith and what a happy life we have had but also the anger I feel towards my 2 step sons. I read it back yesterday and it helps in a way. It gets it out my head. You may feel different about things, when you get back home and carry on with the business. You know that keeping busy helps you, but you do need time to grieve for certain. You have to stop at some point and let it all sink in. Sending hugs

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@Amanda111 I don’t think you’re stupid and well done for being brave enough to travel on your own. Perhaps try and use this time for yourself and maybe think about what you might need when you return home (eg bereavement counselling and/or some practical support regarding running his business). Whatever support you decide that you need I hope you find it and for now, it’s ok to let it all out. Best wishes to you.

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Hi Amanda,

Firstly, I’m so sorry for your loss.
I lost my husband 8 years ago and I can honestly say the first year was the worse and I felt exactly the same. Things will get better.
Sending hugs

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Hi @Amanda111. I dont think it was a stupid idea, it was a brave idea, its just that it’s too soon in your journey through the grief. You needed to heal more.
I’ve just been on a vacation on my own, after 11 months, and it has been a huge benefit to me. In time, you will want to try again, and have a good time, maybe where it’s a bit quieter.

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