Sudden and unexpected loss of my mum

Hi All, and thanks for allowing me to join your wonderful group .

Like all of you I have just lost my mum, my wonderful best friend, she fought for me since before I was born, and right up to her going into hospital, very unexpectedly she would ask to do my ironing and washing and bring me dinners. I have been married now nearly 3 years, it will be 3 years next month and been with my now wife for 7 years. Mum was 71 when she passed

My mum, went into hospital around the beginning of May, with suspected heart attack, after being physically sick for about half an hour before and then being taken to have a stent fitted at a county hospital in Lincolnshire, however over the period of a few days, she had a small stroke and then the investigations really began, she had about got the heart problem sorted when the stroke happened and that’s when they found a secondary cancerous tumour in her brain.
Over the period of the next thirteen days, she had palliative care and slowly slipped away, peacefully I might add, slowly, peacefully and completely pain free, slipped into a deep deep sleep, she finally lost the battle, a battle even she knew nothing about some thirteen days later, and then she was gone. My Dad and my sister were at her bedside when she passed about 3.20am on the morning of the 19th May

I am completely at a loss, its like being hit with an express train you knew nothing about, never mind the train, I didn’t even know I was on the tracks, I am numb, lost and have lost my best friend and guardian angel.

I don’t know which way to turn and I am supposed to look after my family and my Dad, who was married to her for 55 years. Like so many of you, I cry all the time, cant sleep, loss of appetite, and feel like if only we could escape this bad dream, and go back to reality mum would be there as ever.

Like so many of you, there are so many different emotions running through my brain, and how do I go on ?? How do I cope, I miss her so very much, its like a tidal wave that comes and goes, I cry like a baby for no reason, at the most inopportune times, and want to hug her, to hold her to hear her voice one last time, all of this I cant do.

However what did help was having her at home after she passed in an open coffin, although she wasn’t catholic, it was just that being able to talk to her as if she was still there, and even now talking to her sometimes out loud as if she is sat right next to me, Away from company I may add !!

Thanks again for reading my story, and I hope I can help some of you to find the way back from the darkness, just like I am going to have to

With Deepest sympathies for you all, Lots of love and peace Paul

Hi Paul,

I’m so sorry to read about the loss of your wonderful mum - it sounds as though everything happened so quickly and was a huge shock.

I’m glad that you’ve found our Online Community and I hope that reading other people’s experiences has helped you feel a little less alone. I just wanted to let you know that two other members have posted for the first time this weekend about the loss of parents, who you might be interested in replying to:

We have Sue, who recently lost her mum, also very soon after a cancer diagnosis:

And also, Blythe Spirit, who has lost her dad:

Your loss is very recent, so be kind to yourself, take things day by day and try to be honest with people about what you are feeling. Keep posting here if you find that it helps.

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