Sudden death

My husband died very unexpectedly in hospital 3 months ago. I was talking to him at 5.00 and for unknown reasons he was dead at 7.00. The hospital cannot explain why he went down hill so quickly and I just cannot come to terms with it. There were no good byes no nothing. We were both just retired, had holidays booked and were financially ok. Then this… I just feel so sad and empty. I enjoy walking my dogs and try to keep busy but meal times and evenings are so empty. Friends were great at first but many have assumed I am ok now but I know I am not ok.

Hello Karen
I am so very sorry that your husband has passed away but glad that you have found your way to this forum because everyone here understands and reading other people’s posts does help a little…it is sometimes comforting to realise that the emotions and fears which we now have are mirrored in so many others and that we are not completely alone.
Three months is not a terribly long time in the overall scheme of things although I expect that for you it seems like forever; try to live in the moment if you can and not dwell too much on the future…although it will never go away, day by day your grief will
change its effect on you and you will cope somehow; it’s nearly two years for me and I still have some very bad moments but they are not as frequent and the storm doesn’t rage as much as it used to.
Try to take care of yourself and keep visiting and posting on here!
Love to everyone x

PS I too have my dogs and they are the most amazing comfort!

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Hello Karen,

I am so sorry about your husband’s sudden death especially as the doctors can’t explain it. My situation is similar to yours.

My partner of 47 years went out one evening , collapsed and died less than 4 hours later.
No previous ill- health - fit and well and I had no chance to say goodbye to him.
After a difficult couple of years of family problems we were just starting our first real year of retirement together, holiday booked, his 70th birthday to celebrate and all we’d worked for and wanted ahead of us.

His dog has been distraught ever since, follows me around and is constantly looking for him.

The only comfort I find is walking our favourite walks but all the time I feel so sad and upset about what we’ve both lost.
In the evenings I usually go to bed early and listen to the radio - it helps me fall asleep.

I have one friend who’s been great and a neighbour who’s been really kind but
most people haven’t been in touch since the service. They’re just getting on with their own lives.

I can fill in my time - but it is that “filling in time” it all seems so pointless now. I miss him so much and like you - I can’t come to terms with it either.

I’ve started going for counselling - it’s someone to talk to but I don’t know that it will really help me much.

Dogs are a help - they live in the moment - mine was chasing round the fields with my friend’s dogs the other day and it was lovely to see him happy again.

Take care of yourself, J x

Thank you Amelia, I am already so pleased I have found this site. As there is no rule book you have no idea if you are doing ok or not. But reading people’s comments has really reassured me. I lost my Mum 4 years ago but she had been very ill and somehow I accepted her passing but this has gone so deep sometimes it feels hard to even breathe. Thank you for welcoming me

Hi Jackie, thank you for replying to me, it means so much to chat with people having gone through the same pain.
I couldn’t even start to describe to anyone the terrible empty feelings unless like you, you have felt it.
I have two dogs and my daughter two horses so I just keep myself busy, walking and mucking out.
I did think about counselling but not sure it will help.
I have to face into the inquest but even that just takes months and months.
Sending you a hug xx

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