You are a strong lady to have faced Ovarian cancer and survived. Three years ago I had my ovaries removed following a scare but was grateful to have been cancer free. My problem w as a twisted fallopian tube which they told me if it had ruptured would have been life threatening. We have survived so much and am sure we will find the strength to survive our losses with the help and support of others x. Ann
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Volunteering has helped me a great deal as well. I work at a local community hub and food bank which helped needy people with debt, domestic violence, employment and benefit enquiries. I help out with the admin in the food bank and two days a week for 5 hours. The ladies there are great. When I started no one knew my story but gradually it came out and being support workers they were a great leveller. And now they are my best friends who are always there for me. Being able to focus on other people’s issues makes me realise how lucky I was to have a man like my husband for 46 years with no real issues just security, love respect and two beautiful sons who gave us four grandchildren.
We just have to hold onto what we have left and make the most of it. Do I like my life ? No not much but I just do what I can to keep going.
Georgina
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Hi @Annde
Yes it has been a learning curve im glad my husband was around to support me during that time. I have rare tumour grade 3C and now have to be monitored for 10 years ever 3 months so only 7 years left but i feel ok and am doing well.
Helping others will keep my mind busy and
Im glad you have got through your scare too.
Take care stay strong and we will get through anything. Positive thoughts 
Lynne x
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Georgina you sound like after a girl after my own heart. If I can help others while helping myself it’s a win win for everyone. I need to feel that what I am doing while benefitting me is also helping others. This is not an easy transition from being a couple for many years but if my life is worth living I need to feel that I am actually providing supports to others x Ann
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The same for me…I was at work when my son rang me to say that dad my husband had collapsed but still conscious sitting up. Though 20 mins late he became unresponsive. Time I got home he was gone age 53 years old. I did CPR until the paramedics arrived. We were let down very badly by the paramedics as took 40 minutes to come and they didn’t stay on the phone to my son who is 22 and didn’t instruct him to do CPR because he sounded calm. My husband died of a massive rear saddle pulmonary embolism and undiagnosed kidney cancer. I do wonder if the ambulance had arrived earlier that my husband would be here now. I’m so sorry for every one on this thread xx
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Hi Galaxy,you sound very similar to me Peter grew lots of tomatoes and cucumbers but I’m just going to grow a few also courgettes in pots and green beans I’m only 5 ft too.But I’m looking forward to spring and getting things growing I also find it very peaceful and therapeutic it’s good for the soul.Peter died in the garden watering his young plants last May nothing strenuous I feel very close to him out there.
Hi @LyndaK
Yes your husband and mine had similar interests in the garden he loved the peace and harmony 
relaxing watching things grow. I was never really interested but will try to grow few plants this year.
I really miss him around but when I’m in the garden looking at plants and things he did building planters and raised beds i will think he did all these things for me and hopefully i will be more at peace and start to appreciate and enjoy everything he did
Take care
Lynne
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My husband has an allotment and just cant decide whether to keep it on or not ? I managed, just about last year, but im finding it really tough without him here and doing it all by myself … all the digging etc 
x
Hi @Deb5
Yes gardening was never my thing.
I too have a large garden with lots of raised beds. I will try to do some things but will need help from gardener to cut hedges and shrubs.
Maybe allotment might be good as you would meet others there.
Lynne
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Yeh i know bit its the physical side of it ? I already met dog walkers …i dunno its a hard one just haven’t much enthusiasm for it anymore without him … got until april to decide… just dont like the digging etc…that was more my husbands thing …
Sorry to hear, my husband died very suddenly on the 5th of Nov 2023
I was away with work, we’d been speaking that night, we said we loved each other, 6 hrs later I got a call from my sister to say my Son had found him dead 
he’d tried to do CPR it was too late, we got the Autopsy a few days before Xmas, we were to be on holiday for he’s 51st birthday, which was boxing day.
It turned out it was the due to a thoracic artery, basically has no warning signs, symptoms and is immediate. By the time I flew back he was at the Mortuary, I didn’t get to see him till the funeral.
It’s been really hard to process, I’m still struggling now. Sometimes it doesn’t feel real, I find myself thinking, “i must tell him this later” When I see he’s car make I think its him
We’d been married 30 years, I read somewhere the brain has to try and rewire as most is based on memory
I hope it gets easier for you x
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Yeh that last bit about the brain re- wiring is definately true … i read that too. Take care. Early days for you xx
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