My husband suddenly passed away with an out of the blue massive heart attack 8 weeks ago. After initial support that was overwhelming and very much welcomed everybody has gone back to their own lives and I now know the real feeling of loneliness. My husband was my soul mate and my life and I am finding it so hard to convince myself that I have a life worth living without him. I am 52 and suddenly feel so young …too young to be a widow. I just need some kind of reassurance that I can turn a corner at some point and realise that life is worth this battle.
I was in a similar situation. My 50 year old husband collapsed and died whilst out running 6 months ago. We’d been together since we were 16. I’m not sure at what point a corner is turned. I just keep putting one foot in front of the other, mainly for the sake of my kids. I have learned that life is cruel and ultimately we just have to plod on. All our plans for retirement were pointless and all our hard work didn’t help. I just hope that I’m not someone who is going to live to be 100. Take care
I lost my husband when he was 60 and I was 52, at some point I did turn a corner & now I can smile and laugh and I do find enjoyment in life again, I’ll always miss & yearn for my husband but without you wanting it life does go on & yes people do go back to there own life.s so I found it was a case of sink or swim in the end & knowing that my husband lost his life he wouldn’t want me to waste mine, he.ll want to know everything I’ve done when I see him again.
I lost my husband back in March. It was very sudden and unexpected. I struggle to contemplate the possible long years ahead of me without him. The pain is so raw and intense that I would wonder if I would ever feel free of pain again. Although I am nowhere near there yet and many things happen that make me miss my husband so badly I do feel a sense of calm every now and then. And I take that as a possible sign that yes things do get a little easier
So sorry for your loss. Lost my husband 17 months ago I was 58. Life does go on not how we want it too. 10 months into my husbands dying it was sink or swim, I had to swim for my kids/ family/ granddaughter. Im learning to live without him it’s still a hard journey the waves hit hard still but I’m functioning I have to.
Take care x
Thank you for sharing your stories and grief. I’m sorry you too have lost the people you love so very much . Reading your posts has given me some comfort, knowing I am not alone in what we are going through and others know how painful life now is
A few weeks ago I suddenly lost my wonderful husband .He was only in his early 50’s , such a kind, loving , family man. We did everything together and were looking forward to a bright future, full of travels and dreams.
I miss him every minute of everyday and struggle to see how I can live a future without him beside me.
I have the loving support of our children, family and friends for which I am so grateful, but the one person I need and want , can’t come back to me and that makes me feel terrified .
Life seems cruel and unfair , I think it has broken and changed me forever x
My husband has been gone 5 weeks, I expressed my worry about going back to work to a friend yesterday about and she text me back saying ‘it’s good to go back to work and get on with life, I’ll learn to live this way with the kids, I have to be strong and face what’s ahead, in time I’ll heal.’ I’m so angry, I won’t ever heal, I wondered if I was being unreasonable, I know she’s trying to help, but it seemed so cold, maybe it’s me looking for more reasons to be angry?
Thank you for your responses. It really does help to hear from people who sadly are in very similar situations. Someone I spoke to who lost their husband suddenly 3 years ago said that the initial grief feels like being in a washing machine full of water - every time you try to focus on something that might momentarily help free you from that drowning feeling the water just fills up again. She said that, in time, the water stops washing over you as regularly and then eventually you will step out of that washing machine and realise life does have something to offer. I do hope that everyone on this page gets to that stage.
Thank you, yes she does, we were always so close but now, I just can’t be bothered with peoples careless words, she also doesn’t work, so I don’t really know why I would even listen to her!
I think that, if nothing else, going through this weeds out those that you can really count on x
Except today I let that scream out whilst driving. Almost 11 months for me and think I’m getting worse instead of better.
The feeling of being all alone in the world is overwhelming for me at the moment. I have lovely friends (a few that totally seem to get it) and my husband’s lovely kids but that total gut wrenching pain and panic of him not being there is so debilitating at times I just end up saying to myself ‘I can’t do this…I can’t do this without you’ The only thing that keeps me in check is the thought of him saying 'You can and you will for me.
I lost my husband suddenly in May this year. I went back to work after 10 days as I needed the distraction and company. Yes it was horrible coming home to an empty house and evenings alone, but I had 8 hours when I wasn’t alone and was able to put on a brave face.
I think I was just numb to everything then. 5 months on, it feels very real and although work is still a distraction, it is very hard to get up and go in,and much harder coming home.
Sending you hugs and best wishes.
Thank you Linda22, some days I feel the need to be distracted by work, but it’s so hard to think of going back, I travelled to and from work every day with my husband, kissed him goodbye on the steps of the station as we went to our separate jobs, then met him back on the platform to come home. The area I work in is where we met, our primary school and secondary are just up the road, when we first started dating that’s where I lived. I don’t think I can physically make myself get off the train at that stop anymore without him, even thinking about it starts the tears prickling the back of my eyes. I’m going to speak to my manager next week and see if I can transfer to another branch, I think I need that. Also the branch (bank) I work in is difficult, always short staffed, very busy and we get a lot of abuse so quite draining, there is no let up from opening to closing, I don’t think I’ll be able to cope, if one person shouts or swears at me (and that happens at least once a day)I think I might turn into a puddle.
Sweetheart… Your story is the same as mine. I lost Steve to a massive very sudden heart attack on the 19th August this year. He was 56… I’m 54…i too feel too young to be dealing with this … I had been with Steve 22 years, its our 21st wedding anniversary at Christmas… I am dreading Christmas this year.
I just don’t even know how to begin life again… What is actually normal now???..
Yes, I can see that would be so hard for you. Transferring to another branch sounds like a way forward for you. I am lucky I suppose, in that my husband was up and away to work by 5.30 so when I got up he was already at work, but equally he was always at home when I came home. Now I arrive home to silence and emptiness.
My work have been great with me, going me anytime I need off or just getting away if I need 10 mjnutes. I also work within a beautiful country park so I can get out at lunch or go for a walk after work.
I hope your employers will give you all the time you need. There is no set time to be able to go back to work. Everybody is different and there is no size fits all. Good luck. Xx
My husband collapsed and died up the road from our house suddenly. He was 50. We still haven’t got the Coroner’s report to know exactly why. Like you, I now have to make memories for me and my two children. I can’t imagine the years stretching out ahead of me without him. It was over 6 months ago but still very surreal.