I lost my fiance Graeme on the 25th January. He had a heart attack when we were home, I had to give CPR for 10 mins until the ambulance arrived. He was declared dead 30 mins after when they failed to revive him. Thankfully i/we have a brilliant friendship group.
However, his funeral is in a week and I would like to speak. A friend recommended beta blockers but I’m nervous. I don’t want to regret not speaking and I miss him terribly.
@Lisa.02.uk i am sorry your husband has died . My partner also died suddenly and unexpectedly, so I totally understand how you are feeling.
You are very brave speaking at his funeral. I was barely coherent so needless to say , I wasn’t brave at all
Sending you love 
I read a poem … it was easier than speaking if that helps xx
So sorry to hear your sad news. My husband died suddenly Jan15th and I also did CPR. you must be in such shock.I wanted to speak at his funeral but in the end I took the stress off myself and the Vicar read the eulogy which was perfect.I think it’s great you feel you can read but also ok if you don’t and you have that space to grieve at the funeral.
take care
My husband died suddenly on 7th January and his funeral was 2nd February. Without hesitation, my best friend offered to read my tribute but like you, I wanted to do it myself. I practiced lots so I was aware of my trigger paragraphs and my best friend stood next to me ready to take over if I couldn’t do it. It was a massive psychological safety net which helped such a lot. I wasn’t stood there alone.
I did it and I am so glad I tried. I went into it with the mentality of “I’d rather try and fail than not try at all”. There will be so much love and admiration for you in the room that even if you have to take a moment (I did), nobody cares because they all know what it took to stand up in the first place.
Despite any well meaning advice, I had a stiff G&T before I left for the crematorium and thought “this is the last thing I can do for him - no regrets”. You don’t get a second chance so give it a go because you might surprise yourself at where you find your strength and you won’t have any “if only” moments afterwards. Sending you lots of strength and hugs xx