Suddenly losing my husband

I lost my husband 10 April 2019. We would have been married 50 years this year.We were looking forward to our anniversary in Bruges. The hurt of losing my wonderful husband will never go away. One day he’s here and quite fit, then puff! he’s gone. We didn’t get chance to say good bye. Never thought the day would come when one of us would be left on our own. It’s so raw, even now after 6 months. Hasn’t helped having a coroners hearing over his death. It’s so very hard to believe he has actually gone and will never come back. This is the hardest part to come to terms with. I expect seeing or hearing him everywhere I go. I know he wouldn’t want me to be so desperately upset, he would want me to go forward. Obviously this is so hard. We made so many memories and those will be with me for ever. I’ve read some of the comments people have written how they feel. If anything, it is comforting, knowing many of us are going or have gone through the same stage. I have three wonderful daughters who are just as hurt by this cruel act. Now we have turned the clocks back this weekend, brought a stabbing reminder how much we miss him for little things, just altering all the clocks and saying it will get dark from now on. I have appreciated reading lots of comments before posting mine.

I’m So sorry to hear of your loss, i know how you feel, I lost my husband very suddenly on 22nd November 2018 from sepsis, he was in hospital for treatment which we thought was working, I left him after visiting time and by the time I got him I received a phone all to say he had collapsed and died, it’s nearly a year now since I lost him and it is still hard now as it was then, one of the hardest part to deal with is I never got to say good bye, they say it gets better but it doesn’t, you just try and carry on but it’s hard as you most know yourself, he was only 62 and I’m 45 so I have another 40 years on my own without him, he was my soulmate, best friend and I feel so lost, as you said it’s nice to hear from other people who have been through the same situation, all I can say to you is take every day as it comes, remember the lovely times you had together, that’s what gets me through, take care angie x

Hi Angie m, Thankyou for replying and telling me your story, As I know it must have been hard to write it down. I agree with everything you have said. For me it’s the coming home an empty house. Normally he would be tinkering in his garage or on the computer when I returned home, he would then make a cuppa for both of us, then we would talk about our day. I know with time it will get to be normal not have him around. ( he will always be there though) I’m fortunate to be going away at Christmas and new year, so it won’t be as raw. Nevertheless, there will be lots of moments wishing !!! I am a very strong person as were both of us. I know that a new chapter has begun just for me, the strength we had will get me there. I hope it is for you too and life will give you some rewards, as your husband, my husband would want. Takecare Paula2

Thank you for your reply, the nights are the worse for me, we didn’t have any children I just have our dog Mack who is a comfort for me, my husband was Cremated so I have his ashes in the house with me which is also a comfort, it is like he is close to me always, it’s what he wanted as he didn’t want me to be alone our wedding anniversary is 15th of December and it would of been 24 years this year, as the anniversary of that and him passing away gets closer I feel so sad, my husband wouldn’t want me to be so I’m trying to look on the bright side and look forward, i hope life gives you rewards too, take care angie

Hi Angie m, you are right our husbands would not want us to be just sat at home dwelling on our sadness, we have our wonderful memories, so we have to move on. It’s very hard at times and will be sometimes in the future. I am moving house shortly, it will be very different for me on my own in a new place. I’m looking forward to the future to see what it brings. He will always be there where ever I go. Regards Pauline

Good luck with the move, hope it goes ok and your happy in your new home take care, angie

Hi Angie m, Thankyou Angie. I hope you are ok, Pauline

Not doing so great today, but I have my sister and mum here today to keep me company and keep me busy so I will get there. Hope you are ok today and not getting to stress with the move and sorting things out, angie