My husband suddenly died six weeks ago, he was only 62 and hadn’t been ill.
I think I’m still in shock and finding it really hard not having him around. I keep hoping he will walk through the door one day but I know it won’t happen which makes me even sadder. I don’t think my life will ever be the same I had been with him for 44 year’s.
I can’t bear the grieving it’s so painful.
I’m so sorry about your husband. 6 weeks is still very new, raw and bewildering. Missing someone so close is painful as you say. I have just got through the first anniversary of my husband’s sudden death on 10th February. I don’t know how but I did. All of last year I kept thinking"when am I ever going to feel normal again?". But my bereavement councellor from Cruse explained something to me which lately has made sense. She said you don’t “get over it” , you just learn to live your new, albeit unplanned life around grief. I have more good days now than bad days but it has taken a while. You must grieve any way you can and don’t listen to anyone who says you should be doing this or that. Grief is so very personal. I find my memories are happier ones now although I miss him just as much today as I did when he died.
This forum has been a godsend to me and others and you will find people here really do understand your loss. Sometimes just writing down what you feel can be comforting.
Sending hugs to you.
xxx
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Thank you for sharing your journey. My partner left me on 3rd Feb after 27 days of struggling with COVID I was called in twice to say goodbye the first time he miraculously started to show signs of recovery but septicaemia took him within hours and I am broken I just sob uncontrollably everyday and don’t want to have a life without him. We were getting married on 18th June and yesterday had to call and cancel all the arrangements it broke me.
I can’t bear to think this pain will last month’s even years it is relentless and killing me.
Julie
Thank you for replying and everything thing you’ve said does make sense but it’s just hard to see that at the moment,as I’m sure it did to you, but thank you for those words it helps me to see that I will get through the grieving albeit that it takes awhile.
Yes grieving is personal you’re right and my counsellor has said the same. Again thank you 
Quarterman
That must have been so hard for you cancelling all the arrangements my thoughts are with you. I found it hard enough doing the necessary phone calls etc.
We have to grieve in our own way and time as hard as it may be it’s necessary to help us get on with our new life, even though it’s not what we wanted. Xx
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I’m so sorry Julie. I do understand the feeling of having everything you planned for your future together ripped away suddenly. Life is so unfair. I didn’t realise just how unfair it could be until my future was stolen too. But I promise you little by little you will be able to cope a bit better. There is no time frame for grieving. I felt exactly like you and the thought of feeling that way indefinately really scared me but I am coping now although sometimes I have gigantic wobbles. Your loss is very new. Crying is a release. Go with it and one day you’ll realise you haven’t cried for a day, then 2 days…
My heart goes out to you.
xxx
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I am sure everyone on this forum feels for you. Only those that go through this experiences it in their own way. It never feels fair, and that’s because it isn’t. All those things you were planning to do. I cannot imagine how hard it must have been to cancel everything.
The way I explain the loss to my friends is this… Its comparatively easy to find someone to do something with but you cannot find anyone to do nothing with. Until people have experienced this with someone they love deeply they just will not understand.
My heart goes out to you. I wish I could say something more comforting but all I can offer is the love and best wishes of a total stranger.
FrankC