Hi Jdm,
I am so sorry to read about the loss of your Mum and how bad you are feeling. It is a very hard thing when you have cared for someone you love and then they suddenly are no longer there. The time you spent with your Mum must have been so special for both of you, I bet your Mum loved it as much as you. You have also had a horrible time with the loss of your Dad, Sister and Partner. I am glad you have lots of photographs of them to look at. Remembering people in happpier times is very important and the memories associated with the pictures, when they were taken and the occasion.
I am really glad you have your Labrador as dogs are wonderful company. They need walks whatever the weather so are a reason to get up and go out. There are always other people walking their dogs too and a hello and brief chat can make the day feel brighter. The best thing about that is it doesn’t have to be a long conversation and it is on your terms. You can always need to head home to feed your dog, cook your supper etc if it is too much for you
Like you I cared for my Mum. Informally at first when she was still relatively independent and then when she became ill full time. Although I knew she was terminally ill it was still a terrible shock when she passed away. I found it incredibly hard to face life without her and I wished every morning that I hadn’t woken up to another horrible day. I had our elderly cat to keep me company though and he was wonderful until he sadly passed away too.
Gradually, and very slowly it has felt sometimes, I have started feeling better about what has happened. I have accepted the loss of my Mum, I don’t like it though but somehow get through each day. I heard of two cats recently that needed a home so have adopted them and they are a constant joy to me and company which I sorely needed.
What I am trying to say, but not very well, is that the pain does lessen gradually. It becomes almost a numbness I have found. Remember your Mum with love and the happy times you spent together. Keep coming back to this forum if you need help or advice. People here are kind, they do not judge as we have all gone through or are about to the same horrible experience. There is also the online bereavement counselling service which you might find helpful. I have not used this but think it sounds good. The best thing being you don’t have to go out anywhere and if you don’t like it you don’t have to go on.
Take care of yourself mainly. You have gone through an awful lot and now must concentrate on keeping yourself well.
Mel
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