Supporting parent following loss of husband

Hi folks.

Never done anything like this before. We lost my dad in November after a short illness. My mum is struggling to cope, doesn’t want medication or to speak to someone.
After 52 years married and to now be parted from each other, mum is seriously struggling. as I have never lost a parent, I don’t know how to help my mum. It’s hard as all mum wants to do is talk about him but at same time, it’s hard to listen to same conversation over again as this is upsetting too.
Just looking for some advice from folks that have been through same situation. Thanks

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Hi Acw, So sorry you have lost your Dad and your poor Mum is struggling. I lost my husband in November also and like your mum I don’t want medication either I feel it desensitizes you and you are better getting all your emotions out because if you don’t it will come back and bite you on the bum at some point. I don’t want to see a councillor either as I have plenty family and friends I can talk to and I would rather talk to people who knew Colin so we can chat about him, the things he did and the lovely man that he was. I know it must be hard for you listening to your Mum as you are grieving as well but she really needs to talk about him, her world has ended and life as she knew it has gone forever. The future is now scary for her without your Dad and she needs support more than ever, nothing you can do or say will make things better for your Mum but just being there and letting her talk is the best thing you can do for her at the moment even if it is upsetting for you. Talk about your Dad and remember past memories with your Mum. We all deal with things differently and it will get easier in time. See if she would join this forum where she can chat to others who know exactly how she is feeling as we have all been there so can understand and can empathize with her. Hope this has helped you xx

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Hi Acw,
Sorry to hear about your dad.
Living the same nightmare as you are. Lost my dad over the summer out of nowhere. 54 years with my mom.
I just take a breath and call. Take a breath and we meet up. I try to just be present. I have tried to convince my mom to get counseling and she did only to quit after 1 go at it. I get an F in this assignment but i keep on taking those breaths. I think thats the best we can do for now.
What have you tried that worked?Maybe others have some advice too.
Warmly,
Ell

Oh my word, you just made me cry at your pain because it is mine :broken_heart: