My sons funeral is next week, ive been numb for last two weeks and not really engaging in the process, how do i cope on the day, ive tried to say family only but others are now coming to support me i dont want to speak to anyone. Ive also got to make sure his brother is okay on the day as well.
Hi @Taff ,
Loosing a child is tough, my own baby died during pregnancy some years ago, & I can honestly say no-one should ever have to go through such heartbreak. It’s understandable to feel numb, it’s a big shock, that changes everything. All I can say is, take each day as it comes, this is your grief journey, everyone grieves in there own way, in my case, I found the emotions tended to come in waves. Sending hugs of support.
I found it difficult to get involved in any arrangements for my son’s funeral and to be honest I didn’t even want to go to it. I didn’t want to see any of it, I just wanted to believe that he hadn’t gone forever but was just somewhere else.
I don’t know how I got through the day but I did. It felt like I was being cushioned from the full force of the pain by all the love that everyone felt for him.
I found it harder the day after the funeral than the actual day itself.
I will be thinking of you x
I had all the same feeling as you . We kept it family and very close friends only .
Amazingly I managed to read a poem .
I did speak to people outside after .
I just went on auto pilot I think .
We didn’t have a wake though . Couldn’t face it . We just went to brother in laws for a few hours as didn’t want to come home .
You will survive the day . I kept telling myself ‘it’s one hour I need to get through ‘
Just concentrate on being with your husband and son and don’t worry about other people .
I won’t lie it will be so hard but something we have to get through .
I will be thinking of you and your boy
Family are coming back to ours as some have travelled 3 hours, but my plan is to just go to bed and ignore them all, rude I know, but don’t think I can cope with small talk.
It’s not rude at all .
They will understand .
@Taff I was dreading my sons funeral but to be honest it’s all a bit of a blur. Not sure who was there, I had to ask my family afterwards. There’s things I wish I’d done and didn’t. I can’t bear to listen to any of the music we chose now.
I’m not sure how but I got through the day and I’m hope you do too, thinking of you and sending hugs xx
It’s not rude at all, you have to do what you think is right. I found the strength for my sons funeral, I had no tears. I knew the service so well before I went, we had some of his favourite loud banging music to go into, short service and music of my choice at the end, when that was played myself, partner, couple friends all left, my choice stuck to the plan of what was arranged, and we left. I didn’t feel bad about not talking to people afterwards. The crematorium was packed and all my sons friends went afterwards. I came home and cried my eyes out. You will be amazed you will find the strength for the funeral. I will be thinking of you xx
You will find the strength…14 weeks ago i had my boys funeral…dnt no how i managed but i did…every day is a struggle sending u sonmuch love and strength