I spoke to my local CRUSE group today and whilst very difficult and something I’ve not previously managed to do at all, I talked about everything, with a couple of stumbles and tears and a few tongue tied moments, I got there.
It was good to have confirmation from them that it is ok to still be grieving, that it is also ok to not feel like you can talk to friends, as they’ve not lost anyone comparable and they don’t understand and it is normal to feel like you want to just hibernate until it all goes away - only it never will. It’s okay to cry and feel sad, it’s ok to be exhausted, as it is exhausting.
Do I feel a little better? No, but maybe there is a little glimmer of light in this blackness.
I am going for a one to one session in the New Year, it won’t be easy, but I think it’s worth a try.
For anyone thinking or struggling to contact CRUSE or a counselor or reach out to their GP, I would say try to if you can (even if it takes a few attempts) and remember you are not alone.


Thank you for those words of comfort Unhappy. Today is hard and I feel my lovely and witty son, David’s loss more and more. Maybe I have been holding my tears back. I spoke to my friend and she has her son and grandson…do I feel jealous, no but envious, yes.
I probably am feeling sorry for myself.
Take care and my thoughts are with tou and to everyone on this site.

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