Terminally ill parent, grieving partner, feeling lost

Hi SR community,

I feel like I am at a loss for advice/information…I think I need to vent or talk to someone…

My partners dad was diagnosed with MND a few months ago, we were living in Canada at the time, and Covid had just ramped up.
In the few months following the bad news, I quickly got paperworks together to get my permanent residency for Australia (where his parents live) so we could move and support his dad, and his mom through these times.
It’s been about 7 months since we first heard the news, and I have been so supportive, and just keeping my own ‘problems’ down seeming as they are very minuscule in comparison…We have had a few fights, when I just felt like I needed support, and the argument always falls back to, him needing more support because of his dad. and I get that - even my mom says “be strong for him, because he needs you right now”

I have anxiety, I have some mild depression sometimes, and I feel like I have done my very best to swallow my own emotions down to support my partner.
When an opportunity for my partner came to fly home early, to be with his family, I told him to go - whilst I took care of the last few things to do at home, and I would follow to move to Aus.
I have since moved here myself, and I just feel like I can’t get anything right…We have argued a lot.
I know he is grieving, I know this is hard times - but I feel like I am always losing the battle and our relationship has just taken a back burner… I get hit with “you are being so selfish” “you just don’t get it”…As I said before, its been 7 months of this…I feel like I can’t talk about my own problems, OR even talk about our future together without the conversation going completely south. We are in our late 20’s/early 30s living in a room in his parents house, with no jobs because of covid, and there is no talk of future plans for us…

Im not sure who to talk too…I feel like I am about to break.

I GUESS I am feeling like I am not only loosing my father in law, but I have also lost my partner, or support from him. As I write this, I DO feel selfish.

I am not sure who to turn to anymore, and hopefully someone can help shed some light on the situation ,or give some coping advice that i can take with me…

Many thanks <3 :cry:

Couples counseling might be a solution to getting both of you on the right track. You both have a lot on your plate right now and you need to get it sorted out with some professional help. Good luck.

Hi @Kbee1,

Thank you for joining the community and for bravely starting this thread. I’m so sorry to read about your Partner’s Dad and your current situation and to hear how much you are struggling - I’m glad you have been able to share how you are feeling here.

Sue Ryder is a UK-based charity and so I’m afraid I’m not able to signpost to any support services in Australia. However, I thought I’d share a link to the Befrienders Worldwide whose members and volunteers around the world provide confidential support to people in emotional crisis or distress, or those close to them - it might be that they can support you.

Thank you again for reaching out - please continue to do so. You are not alone, @Kbee1.

Take care,

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