Terrible month

Well what a terrible month me and my brother have had our mum has had Alzheimer’s for the last 8 years then on the 30th July she was rushed to hospital with stomach pain and sadly she passed 4 hours later with a perforated bowel nothing to do with her Alzheimer’s so she suffered that for nothing but at least she knew who we were at the end. Just getting our heads round it when 3 weeks later we lost her partner who who had been our father figure for almost 40 year’s I know they are reunited now but we are devastated not been back to work yet and don’t feel ready to go back yet I don’t seem to have any interest in anything is this normal? Had a meltdown in Morrison’s today when 2 people threw their arm’s round me saying how sorry they were felt a right fool in middle of supermarket

Hi Julie

You poor thing, as you say an awful month. Don’t worry about the meltdowns, we all have them. I have had some crackers. One at an AGM when I had just given a speech and some fool decided to announce to the assembled crowd that my Mum had just passed away. I felt a right twit afterwards but you just have to brazen it out somehow.

Three weeks is really not long so of course you don’t want to go back to work yet. Are your employers sympathetic? Sounds awful to suggest but doctors are usually good about signing people off for a bit longer if needed.

Be kind to yourself was something said to me when I first lost Mum. I’d agree with that advice and the other which was if you don’t want to do something just say no to it. I have started to do this and really enjoy not people pleasing anymore!

Take care of yourself

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Thanks Mel for your reply I work for the NHS and unfortunately at the hospital that mum died in which doesn’t help they have been okay but not sure how long they will let me have off before they are not but hopefully they’ll understand how hard it is

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