Thank you all so very much.

My partner of thirty-six years died suddenly on the thirtieth of December and not long afterwards I found this wonderful forum.
A big thank you to all who responded to the many posts I placed when in the depths of despair and could see no way forward.
Each and every reply was both caring and helpful.
Since that dreadful day I have challenged myself to complete certain things and carry on the best I can knowing that was what my partner would have expected.
There have been many waves of grief over the following days and months, though there are fewer, and there are still some things or events that can leave me crying.
Thank you again for your support and encouragement throughout the worst time of my life as finally I see that I can move forward and certainly be far more positive about the future.

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Hi there! What a positive note in your message. My wife died in November last and it’s still hard going. But you are so right. I too have been uplifted by the thought that my dear wife would not have wished me to be too sad at her passing. But I have said before, that sincere and true love can never die as our bodies can. But it’s early days for both you and I. I still have what you call ‘waves’ sweep over me and at very strange moments when there does not seem to be a ‘trigger’ for them. The human mind is very complex, but we have to soldier on as best we can. Helping others through the pain is so important because this awful grief is then turned into something useful. I agree about his site, it’s a godsend. Before my wife died I had no idea of what grief meant. But unless someone close has died before how can we have any idea. But coming on here, a place I never thought I would be, has shown me what real love and caring means. Sincerity comes through in every post, and I find it so uplifting from the platitudes we get from those, who although well intentioned, don’t really understand. Thank you all from my heart.
Love and Blessings.

Hi there to you both
Can I join in and also thank so many people that have helped me also. Brian died in November but it took to January for me to find SR forum and I have also found it a great help on days when I needed ‘someone’ to listen. Sometimes just a friendly chat would make all the difference.
I agree wholeheartedly we are still struggling with those waves and I wonder if I will ever have a day free from tears, which I am now accepting as part of my grieving, in between getting on with life. I do make sure that when out I have a wave and a smile and have never wanted to seem to be a victim or a burden. I am not being brave I am just being me.
I want my Brian to be proud of me and not to worry. I promised him just before he died that I would be fine. I never in my wildest dreams imagined such pain and trauma, and now know that I never helped others that were going through this nightmare because I just didn’t understand. Selfish and thoroughly ashamed of myself.
Like you Jonathan never imagined that I would ever join in with such a forum but it has saved me on many occasions.
And like you 12remember I feel my life in now one long challenge, however I am determined to not waste one day and get through each day as best I can keeping busy.
Thank you so much. Pat xxxx

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Thank you so much for this lovely post, it is wonderful to hear that the community was there for you when you needed it most. I’m so glad that you now feel more positive and more able to move forward with your life.