I’m sitting here on a week off from work and I’m thinking. 15 weeks and a day, 106 days to be precise that my gorgeous husband left this dimension, the messy one with Covid-19 to contend with and I realised…

I am who I am because of him and the time we had together, my life is now because he was in it. My job, because he inspired me, my financial situation, (perception,im ok, still have to work but thats fine)because he left no mess, my love of life and my freedom and liberty because that is what we worked for together. My strength and positive baseline because we made it that way. My friends, my social life, my music all because his presence inspired me as I did him. My attitude towards equality and politics and my love for good and that everyone matters x all inspired and promoted by our relationship, our conversation, our beliefs and what we wanted for us, for both of us and as individual people. I am thankful for the times he told me how to drive, told me when I was being too emotional, told me when I was in the wrong and levelled my thinking outlining any unnecesary stress I may have felt x My time with him was amazing, never a dull moment with my quirky unique and wonderful man, my favourite person on this earth was there to ground me and to sadly leave me when his time came.

Without him, I would be in a different place but I would still choose to have that time with him. I am and will be forever thankful that he was in my life … I treasure every minute, every day, every second. I would not have chosen to be elsewhere at any point, regardless x

My love, my regard, value, thankfulness is overpowering and I’m sure others feel that too x I look around, I look back, I look forward and I treasure the significance and his meaning to me x

I feel, after a damning week where getting out of bed has been a struggle, where trying to take steps forward feels like I have a lead brick in my feet and stomach, where my shouders have been hunched and the pain has been unbearable. I step back and I am me because of him x

So much grief but so much love and appreciation x

I will be forever thankful to him x so very lucky x


Omg Cinders
What beautiful memories you have of your darling husband.

I hope it’s ok for me to comment on your post as I’m unsure if it’s ok to comment on other posts !

I too am so thankful for all the beautiful memories I made with my beloved husband who I lost on 7th November. Suddenly . I came downstairs and found he had gone without a goodbye. But my last good memory was me saying goodnight and us kissing each other ( he was watching the end of a programme on TV) . He then sent me a message saying I love you in case I was asleep when he came up to bed . I’m so thankful for this.

I’m thankful that we had a beautiful blended family between us and we made so many happy memories with them all . Nanny and grandads beautiful grandbabies joined our family one by one and we embraced each and every one of them .

I’m thankful that I have them all and that without them I would have joined my darling much sooner than I am meant to. The legacy he left behind with us all was live life, laugh , enjoy and love . I’m saddened that he is no longer here to see our family grow but we speak about him , we laugh , we cry but we live for this is what he would want .

When I lost him it was the worst experience I have ever had . But when I met him and loved him and spent the last 15 years of my life with him I was thankful fo having in my love.
I will miss and love him for all eternity but I will forever be thankful he loved me and I loved him xxx
You cinders are so inspirational
Take care and stay safe big loves xx