You’re reading this because like me you’ve lost someone… Someone you loved very much… Someone that helped complete your life and made it whole…
And like me you’ve spent nights crying yourself to sleep… Looking at blurry photos of those we’ve lost because no longer can you look at them without tears in your eyes…
For some it’s weeks for some months or years… That we first stepped into the darkness and felt the pain… Sorrow and despair…
Our new lives of living this perpetual cycle of grief… Feeling pure desolation and loneliness…
For me these 6 months since I lost my wife have been the hardest… Longest months of my life… I’ve shed enough tears to fill the thames 3 times over it feels… I’ve lost people I once thought friends… Because my grief makes them feel uncomfortable they can’t understand the pain we feel… The desire to end it all and follow our loved ones into the void… Our hearts broken in two… Our once beautiful homes now nothing more then a simple residence of playing groundhog day… I for a while craved something to happen to me for my life to end… Then by chance I ended up in this community… Samaritains and cruse didn’t work for me but I found myself here talking to people who understood my pain…
For some it’s hard to reach out some simple watch and read waiting for that courage to say hey I need someone to hear me… For some they believe they should be strong, it’s not a weakness to cry or ask for help…there are some amazing people in this community full of love, wisdom, and most importantly understanding… Reaching out to people like I have I came across a lovely woman that has helped me so much just by being there, listening, making me smile and showing me even though I thought my life was over there is a glimpse of hope that some day it may just be possible to wake up with a smile on my face and not dread the day ahead…so little panda a special thankyou for always being there…
People like Jules and Sheila who I always see writing on everyone’s post sharing there stories and helping you 2 are amazing to this community as is krazy Kate who always seems to start amazing threads and trys to impact the community with positively… Sad2 with her beautiful poems…
We lost someone as a community poor Alan and it heartbreaking his demons got the better of him… But without alot of amazing people hear to listen I wonder how many people have been saved…
Thankyou all for reading… And I really do wish each and everyone of you strength in fighting your demons and the hope someday you can awake with a smile on your face…
Please reach out find someone here you can connect with make new best friends and help one another on this dark journey…
Thank you again for listen…
Much love and hugs… Lee xx
What a lovely piece of writing, Lee, and within it a chink of hope.
I’m feeling terrible at the moment, the pain seems never ending. I have little moments in the day where it stops and then my mind takes me back to the pain and anxiety.
I lost my Mum on Sunday. I like this site because I can just pour out all the grief and know it’s ok to put it here. I talk to others but I wonder how much they can take of my sorrow.
I’m my head I know it will heal one day but at the moment it feels like I will never be happy again.
It’s a grief no one can understand until they go through it themselves, I lost my dear mum in July this year and have struggled every day with my emotions, I too sometimes wanted to fall asleep and not wake up, the pain is so raw and the rollercoaster of emotions is sometimes overwhelming, this forum is amazing and knowing there is others that feel your pain, your loss and understand really helps, it’s a huge family of togetherness, I can’t accept my mum has gone, at the moment I don’t feel I want to, I just take a day at a time.
Love to each and every one of you who are struggling too we are here for each other
Lynn x
This is a lovely thread started by Lee. No one can understand the real pain of loosing a partner until it happens to them. Lists of my old married friends seem to think that after 3 or 4 months everything’s ok. They go back to the ’ occasional contact’ position. Perhaps they are really terrified it may happen to them some day and they don’t want to be reminded by my presence. However much we hurt, we must reingage with society and make new friends ones who understand fully. Thank you to all who reply to our postings. God bless you all.
Beautifully said Lee. I joined this forum about 3 Yrs. ago when I lost my sweet, beloved younger Sister to cancer. It was sudden & unexpected, as she was doing well. I watched her take her last breath, and that night will forever haunt me. I was embraced by the lovely folks on this forum, and even made some cyber-friends whom I still talk to. One poster who also lost a sibling, I spoke to only for a short time, but she suggested a book before she left, and I see that as her gift to me. I echo your sentiments Lee. Thank you and thanks to everyone here for your kindness, caring and compassion. Blessings to all on your journey, Xxx
Hi Sister 2, I am sorry to hear about the loss of your sister. I lost my younger brother in 2019 suddenly with no time for goodbyes - complete unexpected and I find it really hard still - Grief I have found is a lonely road. If you ever need a chat or a ear to listen, please do message.
Thank you Butterfly (I love Butterflies ) So sorry about your brother. I agree the loneliness is part of life now. I miss my best friend. Here for you as well. It helps to share with others who truly understand this pain. Xxx
This was lovely to read. I lost my dad on June 1st 2019 I am still struggling and miss him so much. My heart breaks everyday thinking of him.
I know it’s been over two years but the pain and the sadness is still great. My mum and dad were always together and now mum is alone and I do my best to look after her.
I have never talked to anyone about the last days of his life and how he was treated by the hospital, and the pain and anger is still with me. My mum and myself were going to put in a complaint to the hospital but it felt it was to much sadness to reap it all up.
I to am holding out to talk to and make friends on here. You all sound caring lovely people
I can identify with you, as my husband was also subject to mistakes made in his treatment , which together with hospital acquired Covid and a head injury finally resulted in his death. My daughter wants to take it forward to a complaint but fears it will be brushed away as a casualty of the Covid ward.
I sympathise. Tricia
Is so sad seeing so many new people on here, I’m only a few months away from my year anniversary of my loss but definitely find it easier now… Life now is more of a roller-coaster… Finding days you can smile and laugh again then something hits you and you find yourself in that dark pit again but now it’s easier to climb out until the next wave hits you…
Still don’t know how I would have coped without this community and finding special people that when teamed up help each other through them dark days. Hugs to everyone in this community… It’s shit we’re all here but we aren’t alone x
Do any of you get emails from W. Y. G. ( What’s Your Grief) ?
I find them helpful and thought provoking. They have a web site and different people contribute interesting and thoughtful articles.
Best wishes to all.
Tricia
Hello Tricia, Yes I’ve been receiving the W.Y.G. emails and visiting their site for a couple years now, since losing my beloved little Sister. They are very informative and spot on. I recommend W.Y.G. to everyone. Take care and so sorry for your loss. Xxx
Hey Kath,
I definitely agree re reading posts does help you stay grounded, I often read what I wrote all them months ago, just too see how much has changed, how I now feel and the direction of my life I’m not heading towards…
I hope this message finds you well and somehow you’re surviving x
You are right Kath. I suppose I feel jealous of others, happy couples. Now I find I drift more towards friends who are single. David, my late husband said that the invitations and phone calls would stop after three months and he’s right. People think you are over it, but it only takes a careless comment or something on the tv to set me off. After 15 months I’m still tender. One day it will be their turn.
Much love to you
Tricia
That analogy with the waves is probably the best way to discribe how you could feel, I must admit I can’t say I feel angry now towards people that are insensitive but can understand how people do, I wonder how I’d have been if my wife hadn’t died but a friends partner had how I’d have been towards them in their time of need.
It certainly is strange how we change, I am sorry to hear you’re not coping so good, I hope somehow that changes.
Much love x
