The day after

The day after the service and nothing can bring her back. So definite. If anything the pain is more. I’ve got to sort admin out as there is no one else to help. But just want to hide in bed and never move. Our last place together.

Hi. JayandAllison. Yes, the pain is great, and in your case very great. A day after the service and you feel bad! Is it surprising? You are still in shock. I remember how I felt then, but all the paperwork had to be done. Yes, it does seem so final. But is it? I don’t think so because, to me, love never dies, and we can look forward to seeing our loved ones in another place.
At the moment for you it’s the old saying, ‘one day at a time or even one hour at a time’. The light in the distance is, for you very faint if at all. But I have found it does get brighter. Almost imperceptibly.
Look after yourself as I am sure your dear wife would want.
Blessings. John.


Thank you John. The directors gave me some locks of her hair which is priceless and I kept these yesterday inside me jacket pocket near my heart. These and photos have replaced anything I valued


I can remember that day so well and like you I wanted to curl up and die. Or leave my home and never come back to all it’s memories but as Jonathan says there is a mountain of paperwork to get through, phone calls and letters. It will seem never ending at tines.
Hide in bed, I can remember those mornings also but I have two persistent dogs that wouldn’t let me. They got me up and took me for a walk, which was invaluable help.
Yes, it is literally one day at a time, or one hour or one minute and it’s can be hard work but find a way you will. We have no choice. you will find the way that you can manage and we all cope differently.
All I can say is for now don’t think of the future as it can be a bit frightening without our loved ones featuring in it. For sure the love you shared will not cease in fact many of us have found it becomes stronger. They don’t leave us and do we really want them to. The pain will seem unbearable at times but ride those waves and give yourself time to grieve and you will see that far distant light from time to time.
Good luck to you


Pattidot - I have responded to your posts before but I must just say you are very wise.
Thank you x